Monday, March 3, 2008

Marriage Wisdom Part 2





Continuing on from where we left off...

  • Be careful with your tone of voice. This is a huge weakness for most women I think. It's really easy to deny any wrong doing because of the words you speak, but we ALL know the message we are trying to send when our tone is demeaning, not so friendly and prideful. Your body language and tone of voice say more then your words sometimes. Be careful to not be hurtful.
  • Always seek a solution instead of just fighting. It's easy to let the conversation get out of hand to the point that you end up fighting about what you said when you were fighting. Let go of your desire to be right, to prove your point, to let the person know how MUCH they really hurt you, and just seek to work towards solutions. Instead of focusing on what was done, move on, let go and figure out (together) how to make it NOT happen again.
  • Protect your marriage. It's an obvious thing to tell a married women to not have an affair, but most of us are closer to this then we think. Never think that you are above this, and put yourself in situations where you might be tempted. I would guard against riding alone in a car with a man that is not your husband or family. Don't share intimate, emotional details with any other man other then your husband. HE should be your best friend, your council and your greatest confidant, not another man.
  • Create romance with your hubby, whenever possible. Affection goes SO FAR in connecting with one another. Cuddles, kisses, glances, touches as you walk by is SO important. Try to have date nights as regularly as possible, and take time to do thoughtful, cute things for each other. The other night I wrote a little "love" note and hid it in my husbands uniform for him to find at work. It took him a few days before he realized it was there, but he called me from work to tell me it "made his night", and it only took me two minutes!
  • I would suggest reading the book "The 5 love languages" by Gary Chapman. Learn your hubbies "love language" so that you can be intentional about the way you love him. You can love him in the way he WANTS to be loved, instead of loving him the way YOU would want to be loved. When I read this book a few years ago, it absolutely changed my relationship with Wade. It is something powerful, trust me.
  • Your husband is the leader in your home, and you must let him. I believe it is one of the hardest thing for a man to do, is be a leader, and its one of the hardest things for a woman to NOT do. It's almost like as soon as there is a lack of leadership, we swoop in to control instead of give our husbands the time and space (and encouragement), to lead. Submit to your husbands leadership, and trust him. A great example of the way I view submission as a wife is this.....When Wade and I started to talk about moving from Arizona to Indiana, I was the one that brought it up. I was pregnant, and each week that my baby grew I became more and more desperate to be by my family (mom and/or sister), and I felt like God was leading us out of Arizona. I told him my heart, and my desire (and it was his responsibility to listen). As we continued to talk about the possibilities, we struggled with many things. I know that Wade struggled with many things, and it wasn't going to be an easy decision. I told him that I trusted that he would seek the Lord's guidance for us, and I trusted that he would consider my heart, and I trusted that HE would make the best decision for us. A few weeks later, after doing both those things, he decided that we would move to Indiana. Whatever his decision may have been, I would have trusted it, and respected it. HE has the huge responsibility of listening to my heart, following God, and doing what was best for our little family.
I hope to continue to learn, and fall more in love with my Hubby, and I pray the same for you and your marriages...present or future!

XOXO

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7 comments:

To Think is to Create said...

Very good thoughts and ideas. Great job!

The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

I love the 5 Love Languages book! Gary Chapman is my friends uncle! These have been a great 2 posts!

Erin said...

The 5 Love Languages is an awesome book. I need to reread it!

hyperactivelu said...

Again, fantastic posts!

Crooked Eyebrow said...

I know your anniversary is coming up, enjoy and congratulations!

Trish said...

I have been trying our your marriage wisdoms with my husband, and I have to say, I have never felt closer to him. Little things make all the difference! Thanks for sharing this advice.

It's a Beautiful Ride said...

Thanks for the reminders.... Hard sometimes especially when they've done something to irritate you, but all in all I remind myself everyday what a wonderful man he's placed before me...