Capri by the Lake

I see you!

2008-10-03T07:23:00.003-05:00

Okay- So, I KNOW there are many of you still coming here first and THEN clicking over to my blog, and you just gotta stop! He he, save yourself a step and bookmark www.capribythelake.com and/or change your reader to update! C'mon, I bet it will make you so happy! Plus, I took a little hiatus from blogging, but I am back now... so come check it out!

www.capribythelake.com

Let Me Upgrade Ya!

2008-07-29T16:23:00.003-05:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I am totally a fan of Beyonce. Sometimes I'm afraid to admit it, and then I'm like why? I totally love her. I was thinking of her song today "Let me upgrade ya"- while I was "upgrading" myself to a new fancy blog. I've got my very own domain, a new host (wordpress) and a new design, and I am SO excited! Please change your RSS feeds like NOW (don't wait, because you will forget, k?) and head on over to www.capribythelake.com
I hope you love it as much as I do- goodbye blogger!

Crawl, baby crawl (please?)

2008-07-23T10:41:00.002-05:00

Capri is now a little over 7 months old! She is at this horrible in-between stage where she is so-over all of her toys, bouncy, jumpy, daddy, mommy but she can't yet crawl to entertain herself. She wants to SO bad. We have her on the floor every second we can trying to push this developmental stage. So far, she gets up on all fours, but she won't move. We crawl around with her, help her move her feet, her hands. We hold up her belly, but she doesn't move. She has always hated being on her belly, being held facing outwards ect. She can pull up already (and she does it all the time), and it makes me wonder if she will skip this whole crawling thing all together. She doesn't really care for the floor, and makes a little diva face like "gross". I don't think its a sensory thing, she just acts like she's too good for it. Hubby and I can't wait until she can have some freedom. She is so fiercely independent that not crawling is just not working for her. She cut two little sharp teeth this week- which has been so.much.fun. and she is working on about four more, all at once!

She rewards us though with all are hard work by grabbing my hair, or the skin on my neck with both hands and pulling me in for a big open mouth kiss. The teething has been hard, but the subsequent cuddles have been priceless. We have discovered that she just adores other babies, and insists on trying to kiss and hug them. Hubby and I kiss her and hug her a ridiculous amount (like every second), and we are wondering if we are teaching her inappropriate social behavior- because thats all she really wants to do with other babies and kids. Play with a toy? Why do that when we can just make out?

Bath time is always a big hit around our house, and I am loving the fact that it calms her down, and makes her happy. We aren't really conserving water with the increasing number of baths, but honestly- if my baby is happy- I'll skip a shower if I have to, ya know?

The little adorable outfit above is the result of the sweetest care package sent from my best friend Chelsea, her hubby, and parents. It made me cry and I realized how deeply loved we were. Friends are just the greatest treasures, and Capri has loved her new clothes. Chelsea is definitely a Savvy Auntie.

Just a quick hello!

2008-07-20T17:12:00.001-05:00

Crazy Bible Stuff

2008-07-20T10:14:00.002-05:00

Today I was reading this passage in Genesis. I've read this before, and learned this before, but it still strikes me as the coolest craziest stuff, ya know?

Genesis 5:18-24

18-20 When Jared was 162 years old, he had Enoch. After he had Enoch, he lived another 800 years, having more sons and daughters. Jared lived a total of 962 years. And he died.

21-23 When Enoch was sixty-five years old, he had Methuselah. Enoch walked steadily with God. After he had Methuselah, he lived another

300 years, having more sons and daughters. Enoch lived a total of 365 years.

24 Enoch walked steadily with God. And then one day he was simply gone: God took him.

Okay, first of all- Jared had a baby when he was 162! Isn't it funny when you are considered "old" for having a baby when you are "middle aged" like 40ish? This was SUCH a different world and a different time, and then he lived to be 962!

I just think about what a cool world it must have been if people were living this long. The gap between birth and death was so enormous! These people had so much life experience, and were probably so wise! The earth had little disease at this point, and people were probably never sick. Wouldn't that be cool? To live in a world that was free of chemicals, hormones, pesticides, disease, bacteria ect...?

The Enoch has a baby at 65, which is old in our culture, but he must have been such a baby back then! And then the coolest part of the passage- Enoch didn't die, but he went to Heaven. That would be so amazing! Can you fathom it? You are fully aware the whole time!

I was just reading this this morning, and I wished someone was there so I could be like "Dude, this is so cool, isn't it?" And- no one was there, so I thought I would share it with you guys!

Win the Essential Babywearing Stash!

2008-07-16T19:55:00.001-05:00

Win the Essential Babywearing Stash from Along for the Ride (one Beco Butterfly, one Hotsling baby pouch, one BabyHawk Mei Tai, one Zolowear Ring Sling, and one Gypsy Mama Wrap)

Oh, I want to win this SO bad, don't YOU? Go check it out!

The Impeccable Eye

2008-07-15T18:09:00.002-05:00

I get THIS awesome newsletter, and in the latest version it talks about the Impeccable Eye. It talks about how our subconscious mind is visualizing ALL the time, it just is what it is, and you can see what you are visualizing if you just look at your life. Since we are already doing this, why not visualize what you really want? This issue of the newsletter challenged you to make a very detailed list of the kind of person you want to be- what size pants are you? Are you compassionate? A good listener? A successful business owner?. There are no impossibles, or things holding you back. It is the IDEAL you. I decided to take this challenge and write my list! After making the list, they say to put it up in places you will see it daily. For me, I'm going to put it in my bathroom, and bookmark this post as my homepage so I can read it every day. I challenge you to this as well, tell me how it works for you!

Confident
Love myself
I give money to MANY causes, and invest in others passions and businesses
I've mastered a routine for cleaning my home
I answer my phone and always call people back
I follow through with my word to myself, and everyone else.
I'm a size 4 and weigh 130 pounds
I'm active and working out every day
I am a National Vice President in Arbonne
I drive a white Mercedes SUV
I make my husband feel incredibly loved, respected and supported every day
I go out of my way to take care of my friends
I am always looking for ways to make new friends
I reply to every comment on my blog
I comment on all the blogs I read
I never miss a morning spending time with the Lord in prayer and in His Word.
I finish reading four to five new books a month.
I inspire people and use my gifts every day
I play with my baby, and enjoy her in every moment
I make birthdays and special events memorable for my family and friends
I am detailed and organized
I am wise with money. Frugal-always looking for a good deal and never over spending.
I am intentional with my day, not letting laziness creep in.
My house is beautifully decorated and painted.
I take an awesome vacation every year.
I have another baby.
My legs are shaved and my hair is done.
I memorize scripture weekly.
I have a beautiful camera, and I take pictures every day.
I've re-learned how to sew again, making things for myself and my daughter.
I enjoy gardening, and my garden is beautiful.
I live in a beautiful, large home.
I entertain with dinner parties and celebrations.
I cook every night, enjoying new recipes and beautiful creations!
I've successfully helped my husband learn how to eat different kinds of foods.
I'm creative
I'm thoughtful
I'm a great Mommy
I'm ridiculously positive and joyful
I'm in constant prayer
I have beautiful shoes (and lots of them)
I am debt free
I enjoy financial freedom
I own a clothing boutique
I own many properties
I am involved in Ministry with high school students
I know three languages

Well, I think I will continually add to this, but this was an awesome exercise! I started writing it without much thought and just let things flow.... some things came up that surprised me.... Open up a clothing boutique? Hmmm, didn't know I wanted that! It's also REALLY personal, and almost hard for me to share (I don't know why?) but I wanted you to all see an example! I hope you will write your own "Impeccable Eye" and look at it every day! YOU deserve it!

update

2008-07-15T16:49:00.001-05:00

Let's just be real

2008-07-10T03:52:00.002-05:00

I have to be honest. I haven't been writing because I really haven't wanted to share, or talk about what has REALLY been going on over here. I don't want to force myself to blog, only to share something fake, and so I haven't. Until today when I decided I can't take it any longer, and I just don't care what people think (because no matter how much I fight it, I always care what people think). My husband and I are at the lowest point financially we have ever been.

I know that we aren't alone. I know that gas prices are killing everyone, people are losing their jobs (even Starbucks is closing 500 stores?), foreclosure rates are at an all time high, yadda....yadda.

Well, let's just say it sucks, and its really hard. What is our story? How did we get here?
Well lets just say that we never planned on getting pregnant, which lead to the decision to move to Indiana for lower cost of living, job potential and family (mine). So we came, and since last summer Wade hasn't been able to find a great job. When I had Capri, he was working at a restaurant just to find anything for us. Well, we had payed our midwife in full with all we had and planned on a homebirth and thought we would be fine (we had no insurance, no job). Little miss Capri decided she wanted a 40 hour labor, which led to the hospital visit. My job went down from full time, to part time (and just last week it went down to 15 hours a week).

We went from being debt free to buried in debt. We have medical bills up the wazoo that we can't even touch, and have been sent to collections (a less then 24 hour stay at the hospital resulted in 10k in medical bills, this should be illegal in my opinion!). We have lived off credit, food stamps and whatever else we can to get by.

Well, we have maxed out every credit card, used up all the food stamps, and we STILL can't find jobs. My parents are helping us all they can, but they honestly are dealing with the pressure of the economy as well. So are other family members. To be honest it doesn't comfort me to know that these people are in the "same boat". I'm sad for them, I am terribly, ripped open and raw for them because I know how scary it is, and I know how hard it is.

I have an amazing business, a beautiful business that I believe in, but yet isn't growing. It's my hope, my future, my dream, my desire, my passion, but it's not going anywhere. Why? I don't know, maybe because people aren't thinking about buying awesome products are starting a business because they are desperately trying to pay their car payment too?

My sweet husband, has THE strongest conviction to provide for his family. I see him every day putting himself out there to find something that will meet our needs. Tonight, he cried in my arms because he feels so awful. "I just want you and Capri to have so much more". I try and tell him he's a great provider, because he is, and he takes care of us, but there is nothing super encouraging to say right now, it just is what it is.

It's 4:15 in the morning, I can't sleep because of an awful emotional night, and boobs that are engorged past humanly possibly (I'm weaning, and that is a really long story for another time), and I have NO idea what tomorrow will bring.

First ever VLOG!

2008-07-09T12:47:00.001-05:00

More to come!

Bee Simple

2008-07-08T10:34:00.002-05:00

My friend Jaymi has an awesome Etsy shop where she sells hand-made soaps, lotions, bars, jewelry, and the yummiest chai tea you've ever tasted!

She even made a bracelet inspired by me, named the "Carrington". I think she gets "me" perfectly in this beautiful bracelet.

She is a stay at home mamma to three beautiful chillins, so go support her, you won't regret it!
Don't buy cheap stuff at CVS, or the grocery store, get all natural ingredients and products that are safe for your body!

The name game

2008-07-08T08:53:00.002-05:00

My family has a thing with names. I guess when my parents were born in the 50's with the names John and Debbie, they wanted their kids to have one of a kind names.
First came my spunky sister Arianne, then came my brother Johnathan (a little spin from John, but he got off pretty easily in my opinion). Then came their lovely, beautiful fabulous third child... :) ME...(A.K.A Carrington) and then came their baby boy Harrison. Arianne always gets confused as Mary-anne, or Arianna. When she was younger she tried to change her name to Stephanie. Instead she just grew up and became best friends with THIS one. We always called my brother Johnny, and he hated it when he got to Junior high, and insisted we all call him "John", but it never really stuck with all of us. When he was young he wanted to be called "Jeffery Free". For me, most people confuse my first name as a last name, tell me they have "never heard that one before", and ask me how to spell it a million times. When I was just learning how to talk my mom kept calling me her "cutie-pie". I began to repeat it as "Tootie-pie" since I couldn't really get out the words. I soon became known as Tootie to all my family and close friends. I will sometimes run into old friends of my parents that knew me as a baby in the mall, and they will start waving and yelling "Hi Tootie!" and make me want to run away. However, when I became an Aunt, my Sister insisted that "Aunt Carrington" was just too stinkin' hard, and so I once again became Tootie to them, but I love being their Aunt Tootie. Harrison (A.K.A. Unkie Harry). He always says "yes, like Harrison Ford." For awhile he didn't pronounce his name fully, he always left out a syllable sounding like "Harr-son" which drove me crazy. I think he has finally figured that one out.

Some other unique names in my family?
My husband is Wade who people always confuse as Wayne. His first name is actually Dennis... just really confusing.
Both of my mothers are not "grandmothers" but other cool names. My mom is Mute (pronounced Moo-tee, and its German for mother), and Wade's mom is Nune (pronounced Noon-ee) and it was what they called her grandmother.

Oh, and I will end with the most confusing of all... the last name. Beauchamp. It looks like a beautiful name, its just really hard for most people to pronounce, and I don't blame them. It looks like it would sound like beau-shamp, but it actually sounds like beech-um.

What unique names do you have in your family?

Cookies by Design

2008-06-24T20:58:00.005-05:00

This weekend, I had the opportunity to be apart of an awesome baby shower for my friend Steph. You can check out some pictures of the little shin-dig and all the fun we had over here. One of the highlights of the afternoon were these delicious cookies from Cookies By Design. They sent us this lovely basket with individually wrapped goodies. The cookies came in adorable baby shapes with pink and white frosting. At first, I was a little skeptical, wondering if they would be any good. How many times have you bought some cute frosted cookies at your local grocery store, only to find out that they tasted terrible? I wondered if these would be the same way, but my skepticism was immediately gone when I tasted these soft and absolutely scrumptious cookies. When I was leaving the shower, I couldn't resist stashing a few more of these in my purse to take home. I ate them far too quickly and as I write this I am wishing I had some. Thankfully, I can go to their website at www.cookiesbydesign.com, and get some more! The prices are so affordable, and they make for a great alternative gift idea! There are a few birthdays coming up in my family, and I am looking forward to sending this one. I love the idea of giving a recital gift like this one, and this one would be the perfect way to say "thank you".
Oh, and if you are thinking that you just can't possibly wait any longer to get your own, guess what? They have Same Day Delivery...so go get some now!

The 49er

2008-06-23T10:50:00.010-05:00

My dad found the local drive-in, and after thinking about it a little bit, I thought this would be the perfect chance for hubby and I to actually see a movie while it's still in the theaters!

There were a lot of really neat things about it. We left a little early, so Capri was happy in the car (she hates the car, and the only way to go even 20 minutes away is with a portable dvd player in her lap), and we got some yummy food and found a great spot.

It was a new experience for us, and it was beautiful. This is definitely a mid-west thing. There were families with tons of little kids running around. Some children had their pj's on ready to fall asleep watching the movie in the back of their van.

There was Christian music playing through the speakers; groups of teenagers playing bean bag toss, and couples cuddling up with blankets. We didn't know if it was going to work out, because it had been raining, but the rain cleared up, and left a dewy beautiful evening.

We were able to see a double feature for the price of one. The previews were all old fashioned and we snacked on popcorn and pop. Before the movie started everyone sang the National Anthem, it was really cool.

I'd love to say that Capri fell asleep, and we enjoyed a happily ever after evening, but it didn't really end up that way. Capri refused to sleep, and ended up staying up all night from being off of schedule. We hope to try again, try some other tricks and have an easier time, next time. But we are still so excited, since this was our closest thing to a night out since Capri was born.
On the way

This made me laugh so hard, she was posing for me but totally looking at something else!

Getting ready to start the movie

Playing with daddy's pop

tailgaiting

PJ's

P.S.
We saw kung-fu panda which was adorable, and the incredible hulk, which was horrible! (oh my gosh I'm officially a mom enjoying the kids movie more)

Morning

2008-06-19T10:39:00.002-05:00

Rising early is never something that I did well, or enjoy. I've struggled with many years because I wanted to be a morning person so bad. When I managed to get out of bed, and wake myself up, I enjoyed being up so much. There was something about getting up early that gave me this overwhelming hope, because I saw so much opportunity in the day. The getting up part... became this crazy intangible thing that I never did well.

My best friend Chelsea was always an early riser. I would spend the night at her house in high school, and she would wake me up singing, wanting to go for a run, making breakfast, turning on all the lights. I would throw pillows at her, pull the blanket up over my head, and pray that she left me alone. I was always the dork at sleepovers , that the other girls tormented with toothpaste because I was the first to sleep, and the last to wake up!

There was one season in my life where I was able to enjoy the morning. It was a brief time in high school that I managed to wake up every day at 5AM, have a quiet time and work out, and it was the happiest time of my high school years.

I knew that when Capri came, I would have to get over this, and I knew I would manage to do it, I just didn't think I would be happy about it. To my surprise though, as I was awakened by my baby girl, I would roll over to find the happiest smile, and the most beautiful big blue eyes.
Her joy and excitement about waking up in the morning is overwhelming. If you could test energy on a scale from 1-100, every morning her beautiful spirit is at a 95!

This is just another way she has changed my life. Getting up before the sun is easy now (although I do admit to a new coffee addiction to help as well). I love being her mom, and sharing in her excitement of the morning. She gave me the gift of being able to wake up happy, hopeful and like I wished so many mornings growing up- seeing the day full of opportunity.

50 things I like about myself

2008-06-19T08:27:00.002-05:00

1.I'm wise
2.I'm very positive
3.I'm good with people
4.I'm a good friend
5.I'm an awesome mother
6.and Aunt
7.I respect my husband, and I'm a good wife
8.I value family
9.I'm creative
10.I'm stylish
11. I have leadership skills
12.I have a good sense of humor
13. I don't take myself too seriously
14.I have pretty blue eyes
15. I'm sexy
16. I go with the flow
17.I'm good at cleaning
18. I can motivate and inspire people
19.I can discern people well
20. and I can see strengths right away
21.I always choose to see the best in people
22.I can read fast, and enjoy to read
23.I'm loving and affectionate
24.I'm responsible
25. I've learned how to be organized
26. I'm successful
27. I'm excited and passionate
28.I try to make myself a better person every day
29. I love Jesus
30. I'm girly
31. I know a lot about natural things
32.I can dance
33.I like all kinds of people
34. I don't judge, and always support
35. I can be the life of the party
36. I'm reflective
37. I have a great opinion
38. I'm a great sister
39. I'm a great daughter
40. I always remember cards
41. Being tall and thin
42. Being pretty
43.I smile at strangers
44. I'm always up for an adventure
45. I communicate well with my husband
46. I planned a gorgeous wedding
47. I'm tough (enough to give birth)
48. I think outside the box
49. I always like to do something different from what everyone else is doing
50.The way I look in my swimsuit

Wow! This was really hard for me. I got stuck so often, I don't know if I was being too broad, and needed to be specific, but this was harder then I thought! It felt good though!
EVERYONE did this, so, I just want to tag my friend Jordan!

Come join me on flickr!

2008-06-17T19:06:00.002-05:00

Just opened up a new account, and you can click on my sidebar badge to look at more photos! I'm going to be adding more and more!

Happy Da-Da-Day! (Part two)

2008-06-15T10:52:00.007-05:00

Dear Da-Da,

I'd like to take today (Da-Da day) to tell you all the things I think you are awesome at, and say thank you for all things things you've done.

Thank you for talking to me every night in Mommy's belly. I learned your deep voice, and looked forward to our nightly chats. Your voice always brought me so much excitement, and it made my legs kick!

Thank you for helping Mommy and I get through being born. I could feel your hands on mommy's back as you helped her with the pain.

Thank you for being there when I was born, not taking your eyes off of me, and calming me down.

Thank you for staying up with me all
night the first few nights I was here
to make sure I was safe.

Thank you for loving me, you are so good at it. Thank you for telling me
everyday how beautiful I am, and spending so much time with me.
Thank you for finding so many fun ways to play with me, calm me down and make me feel happy.

I love our walks together, and going to the park. I love our long talks about the meaning of life. I love chewing on your shoulder, and giving you kisses. I love how you always find new ways to make me laugh.

Thank you for always singing "You are my sunshine". I love your voice, and it always calms me down. You are really good at giving hugs, Mommy thinks so too (we've talked about it).

Thank you for always providing for me, and everything I need. Thank you for working so hard to give me everything I want.

Thank you for getting up with me at night when I can't sleep, or getting up with me early in the morning when I don't want to.

Thank you for giving me medicine, throwing me in the air, finding the NuNu's and loving Mommy.

Thank you for not getting frustrated with me, and loving me SO deeply. I love getting to know you, and I love our special bond. I trust you, and you are one of my favorite people in this whole world!

You are the best daddy any princess could ask for.

I love you so much!

Happy Da-Da day!

Capri

Father's Day Part One

2008-06-15T10:25:00.003-05:00

My Dad is the dad above all dads. I struggle to relate to most women I meet, that have suffered through childhoods with men that either weren't there for them, or if they were they abused them, or offered them nothing.

My Father is everything a father should be. If you met him, you would see how much he loves my mom. He adores every part of her. He always told me too. "Isn't your mother so beautiful today?" he always said to me, which I always agreed. I watched him bring her home things, give her kisses, compliments and love. She is his favorite person, and his best friend. He taught me what a great husband looks like, and how a Father balances the two.

He is an awesome provider. When I was young, he made the decision to go into business for himself, and made a way to provide everything we needed, but also made a way for time with us. I always felt the secure in my home, and with my needs even though I know that we had really rough times financially, he always made me feel like he would give me everything I needed. He woke me up most mornings, gave me a hug and kiss and breakfast. When he got home from work (we always counted down the minutes in the evening until he returned), we would tackle him with hugs as he walked through the door. He always made us wait until he changed out of his suit and tie, and we danced around in excitement until he was ready. He then became our human jungle gym/wrestler, as we would wrestle for hours (at least that is what it seemed) on the living room floor. We hung out on the weekends, and he was always there.

He was an awesome leader, teaching me about Jesus. Some mornings when I woke up early, I would get out of bed to find him in his PJ's sitting at the dining room table reading his Bible. I would crawl into his lap and he would teach me the stories he was learning himself. He was a man of incredibly high integrity. He prayed with us all the time, and taught me about my other Father, the one in Heaven.

He loved so freely. Everything I asked for I had to pay for with a hug. "Dad, can you make me a bowl of cereal?" to which he would respond "if I can get a hug". When we hugged, he whispered in my ear how I was the best hugger in the world. He told me every day how much he loved me, how special I was, how beautiful I was, and how I could do anything I dreamed of. He never with held emotion, love, touch, attention. It flowed so much from him.

As a teenager, and then a woman, he has always been a great listener, a supporter, someone I could talk to about anything. He was always sure to protect me, yet allowed me to have freedom. He taught me how to be independent, and made me feel worthy.

My husband is like my dad in so many ways. I saw the value in my husband, and fell in love with him at such a young age, I believe, because my dad taught me I was worthy of him, and the kind of love he could show me.

As I've grown up, moved out, gotten married, had a baby, he has been there for me through everything, and I cherish our relationship so much.

He also respects and loves my husband, and treats him like a son (and always has), and he treats my little girl like a princess... just the best papa around.

I know that many people say "my dad is the best dad", but I TRULY mean it, in every way a dad could be a great dad, he is.

Thank you Daddy for everything. I love you so much!

Happy Father's Day!

Engagement Story

2008-06-13T15:57:00.004-05:00

This is an e-mail I sent my family from our Cruise to Alaska when Wade and I got engaged almost two years ago. If you are looking for a LONG read, I thought you might like this!

Hey everybody! Well, yesterday was one of the best days of my life! We went with Wade's whole family on an excursion in Juneau. It was a gorgeous day, clear and warm (well, warm for them, it was 65). It was the first day it had not rained in the last 32 days! We were taken from the ship to a boat where we went all along the shores and the different islands through Juneau and we saw about 10 hump back whales, along with sea lions, seals, and 4 bald eagles! We watched the crew catch salmon off the back of our boat, and by the end of the tour they had roasted it and passed it out to everyone on ritz crackers. It was so exciting! We then boarded back on the bus to go to one of the largest glaciers in the world, the Mendenhall Glacier! We were warned greatly about large (1,200) pound brown bears and were given lessons on what to do when we encounter them. Luckily for Wade and I being loud mouths helped us, because they are less likely to attack you when they can hear your voice, and are not startled. They can recognize a human voice and they won't attack you. They were everywhere by the glacier because all of the pink salmon had swam north towards the glacier, and the bears are there to eat! The glacier itself is magnificent, I have never seen anything like it in my life. As soon as you get a glimpse of it your breath is taken away. I would suggest that you google the Mendenhall glaciers you might be able to find some photos of it. Well, I was in a very adventurous mood, I wanted to explore all the mountains and waterfalls and everything around the glacier. Wade and I sort of broke away from his family and started exploring. The whole day Wade had been especially sweet. He would stop and tell me how beautiful I am, how much he loves me. I thought nothing of it though, because he is this sweet often to me...I just thought he was in a great mood, and overwhelmed by the beauty of the scenery! We hiked up to this one point through a trail where we had a gorgeous view of the glacier, and we were covered in trees, everything was so green, and the glacier itself was peaking through the leaves on this tiny trail that we happened to discover. I wanted to keep exploring so I kept saying, "let's keep going"! Finally as we reached this point, Wade stopped me and turned around and started telling me how much he loved me, and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He also says THESE things quite often, so it wasn't until he got down on one knee that I realized what was going on! I screamed "no you're not!" as I was in shock. I can't quite remember all that he said, because of my shock but I do remember the end. He said "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, will you marry me, Carrington, my love?" I was screaming with joy. He took off my glove and placed the ring on my finger. It looked magnificient in the natural light, with the glacier right behind us. It was the most special moment that we have ever shared, just the two of us! He was so nervous! After we hugged and kissed for what seemed like forever, we made our way back down towards where the tour bus was because it was about to leave! I took a leaf and a photo in my head to hold a memory of that special place. We ran down the trail and we ran into a little club house they have at the base where you can buy things about the glacier and it tells you how it was formed and things like that! We bought post cards, a book, a dvd, all to remember that gorgeous place! We then ran down to the bus, where his family was waiting! Told them, and got a big congratulations (they had no idea what he was doing)! As we boarded the bus, people were saying "Where you been?" And Ginger said, "We have a good excuse, our son just got engaged!" And everyone on the bus was cheering for us, and wanted to see the ring, it was so fun! On the way back Wade began to tell me all the little stories about all his ideas and how he came to the decision to do it in Alaska (he went around and searched forever with his friend Brian at hotels in AZ, and decided it wasn't special enough), and his decision to make it spontanteous (which for those of you who know Wade, being the analyst he is, not planning was a HUGE thing!) The ring is gorgous! We have pictures taken in front of the glacier right before, and we have pictures taken right afterward before we got on the bus! I can't wait to tell you all the more little details (like how I was convinced he WAS NOT going to propose in Alaska) and so much more! I am being charged by the minute here, so PLEASE pass this on to everyone that you know, or can! I am off to get a manicure on the ship because I have this gorgous ring I have to show off! I love you all so much, wish you were here, and I wish I could share this moment with all of you! I will send pictures as soon as I can! I love you! Carrington

Fun Friday

2008-06-13T15:11:00.004-05:00

Capri has been sick, and even when she isn't sick she is a little high maintenance. However, she is always happy outside, no matter what we are doing. Now that its nice out, I decided to get her a little kiddy pool that she can sit in, and splish-splash. I couldn't find her cute watermelon swimsuit, so I used this little outfit (its slightly big), but mainly meant for a day at the beach. I love it though, because it protects most of her skin from the sun. It took a lot of praises and claps to get her to put it on, but she looked so cute! Oh, and then my baby bandz! She was totally freaked out until she realized she could see through them, and then she loved it!

Don't mind all the stuff in the picture, I was trying to take it *fast* so that I could capture that smile!
It was really cold! We have to figure out another solution to get warmer water, but she loved getting her toes wet... for like 3 seconds!
Drying off and sitting up SO well!

Sick mama was TOTALLY exhausted after this adventure. (Yeah, I've been sick like a whole week, and missing being outside!)

Wordless Wednesday

2008-06-11T21:06:00.003-05:00

We call this her "floral spaceship"

This behavior is so rare in my household, that I thought I would get evidence that it actually happened!

Book Meme

2008-06-11T20:52:00.002-05:00

I was tagged by this beautiful lady *
Here is how it works.

the rules....there must always be rules for this sort of thing. I wonder who sits around thinking up these rules?

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

The book next to me is The Gift by Shad Helstetter

"If you could go forward in time, two years into the future from this moment, what would you most want to see?

1.What is your job, or what are you doing as your vocation?
2.Where do you spend your daily "work" time; that is, what is your physical environment? (Home, office, in your car, on the beach...)"

Okay, now to tag 5 people

Um, I'm going to break the rules, and only tag one- Jordan!

They hatched!

2008-06-08T11:22:00.002-05:00

Our little babies are now here!

New Kid on the Block

2008-06-06T18:21:00.006-05:00

Capri tried on some new kicks, you like?? Thanks to her Aunt Sissy

*Sorry the pictures are kind of blurry, she wouldn't stay still, she was so excited!

My next labor drug will slow your roll

2008-06-04T19:14:00.005-05:00

A beverage company has come out with a new anti-energy drink called "Drank".

The carbonated, grape-flavored beverage is spiked with melatonin, valerian root and rose hips.

The company is marketing its product to the hip-hop community and the relaxed, anti-stress mentality that they promote. Their marketing line is "Slow your roll". However, I think this is totally off the mark, they need to market it to women about to give birth... and here is why....

When I was in labor with Capri I drank a teaspoon of Jagermeister (an old midwifery trick), to help relax me, and progress my labor. Jagermeister contains valerian root, so it is very good at relaxin' a momma. However, it has a black licorice, alcohol taste, that is not so appetizing to a woman in labor, ya hear me? I would much rather have a grape flavored, popsicle tasting drink to "slow my roll", kwim?

So with baby #2, I'm going to have some of this grape stuff in my bag of tricks, oh yeah baby.

Backyard fun

2008-05-31T15:50:00.008-05:00

Trying *so* hard to sit up!

My favorite look- "Surprised"

Pondering life

Cuddles

Want a hug?

Drunken chats are the best!

Whatcha lookin' at?

You have a choice, how cool is that?

2008-05-31T14:05:00.002-05:00

I've been reading an awesome book by Shad Helmstetter called "The Gift".

Today I read about choices, and he lists about 100 choices we all have, and can make every single day. After he lists them he goes back, and tells you to read each question, and listen closely for your own answer. I did this, and found it to be an incredible experience, so I wanted to share it with you guys!

Taken from "The Gift"-

What time will you get up tomorrow?
How will you spend your time during the day?
What goals will you work on?
Who will you spend most of your time with?
If you have a problem, will you worry about it, or will you work at it and solve it?
What will you do with the time you have to yourself?
What will you allow to upset you or upset your day?
Will you complain, or be positive and move on?
What will you talk about most this week?
What will you think about most?
Will you criticize someone else, or will you understand?
Will you be where you need to be, when you need to be there?
Will you always be on time?
Will you actively listen, instead of thinking of your own point of view?
What advice will you ask for, and whose advice will you take?
How often will you smile?
What kind of clothes will you wear?
How organized will you be?
How much time will you spend with your family?
How much time will you give to yourself?
What will you have for lunch?
What will you read?
What will you watch on television?
What is the last thing you'll choose to think about, just before you go to sleep tonight?
What is the first thing you'll think about, when you wake up in the morning?

What is so exciting is you do have a choice, to choose what matters most to you, about anything, every single day. No matter where you are, what you are doing, right now, today, and tomorrow, you can choose.

What will you choose?

Mr. Snister

2008-05-28T13:59:00.001-05:00

Who wouldn't want to hire this hottie?

Oh those twenties

2008-05-28T10:14:00.003-05:00

People always told me "My twenties sucked". They went on to explain how this decade was filled with mistakes, failures and figuring out who you are. In many ways I've always felt mature for my age, and I kind of thought that I knew myself, and my twenties would not be that hard, because I have it all figured out. HA! I guess that is what people in their twenties say, huh?

Well, I also understand why so many people tell you to wait to get married, and wait to have children and all those things. I have not regretted my choices, because I am so very very blessed. However, it is hard to deal with figuring out who I am as a woman of God, who I am as a friend, a daughter, a sister, and then I went and added the roles of wife and mother to mix it up a bit. What makes adding those roles hard is that it seems easy to define myself by them. In a way, this isn't the wrong thing to do, because I believe they are my greatest roles, and my most important. The trick is figuring out who I am beside those roles... who is Carrington?

I don't know if you guys are like me, but I despise filling out anything that asks the question, "Who are you?" on any of these website profiles. I hate filling in the "about me" sections because when I write "about me" it doesn't ever feel "like me", and I don't know if I am just horrible at communicating who I am, or if I don't identify with the things in my life or where I am at in my life, or if I simply don't know who I am.

I started thinking about all of this when I signed up to have my blog made over by these lovely ladies. I wanted to think about what was "me", so that I could communicate what I wanted for my new design. I have not started the design process yet, but I'm sure it will be hard for me. I feel like I like so many different things, not one would just fit. Can I have a circulating theme that changes with my mood? Like a mood ring for my blog. One day it will say girly, feminine and cute. Another day it will say chic, modern, simple. Another day it will say earthy, creative, natural. Another day it will be quiet, reflective, soft.

I don't feel lost, scared or out of sorts about all of this, just reflective. I'm enjoying getting to know myself, and how I am beautifully and wonderfully made. My hope is that when I figure it out, I can share it, and find the greatness God created within me, so that I can change the world.
About two years ago I attended a personal development seminar I guess you would call it, that was a series of things that went from a weekend, to a week, to a six month process that changed my life. During this process I wrote down my "purpose" statement and I wanted to share it with you all. I believe that even though I am continually figuring out this whole thing, this statement continues to resonate with my heart:
My purpose in life is to create dynamic and extraordinary change in the world around me on behalf of and through Jesus Christ.

Mute

2008-05-20T22:06:00.002-05:00

My mom (we call her Mute, which is pronounced Moo-tee) with Capri at our Mother's Day celebration. She had a big flouncy pink adorable dress on. It was a great day.

Unimportant things

2008-05-20T21:50:00.002-05:00

Okay so I was tagged a LONG time ago by Hyperactive Lu to do this, and she gave me such a sweet compliment on her blog, and so I am finally finding time.... here we go

Six unimportant things about me....

1. I always say that I am a sports fan by default since my husband rules the TV and sports are all he watches (thank goodness for TIVO, or else I would never get to see my stuff). I pick teams to root for, and watch with him to show him some love. Surprisingly I have grown to love a few games. Here are my teams: Phoenix Suns, the Indianapolis Colts, Arizona Diamondbacks, and I like college basketball too- I like Duke.....Oh, and I will also include all the teams that win, because I jump on all the bandwagons I possibly can.

2. I started a kickboxing class today for the first time. It was the first time I've worked out since I had Capri. Well, kickboxing kicked MY butt. I thought I was supposed to be kicking butt, how did things get turned around? My knuckles are cut open and I have liquid bandaid on them right now... not fun. But, the class was still great!

3.I love roasted tomato hummus, I could eat it with, or on everything... yummy.

4. I did dance for 14 years, and I hope Capri wants to take dance when she gets older.

5. I enjoy taking time to fold a perfect fold. I worked Retail for a long time and had to have the most perfect folds at work, that I kinda obsess about it at home. It's like therapy for me.

6.I almost never floss. There I said it.

We're having twins!

2008-05-19T20:25:00.004-05:00

Twin baby birds! Their mama made a pretty
little home on our wreath on our front door
we have blocked it off so that no one
will disturb her. I'll post pictures
of the babies when they hatch!
Check back!

He turns 1!

2008-05-19T10:20:00.002-05:00

Today is a very special day. It is my baby nephews 1st birthday. My sister and her hubby didn't know if they wanted a third with all the challenges they had to overcome with their first two children. They took a romantic trip to Italy, and the Lord told them that they needed another. I was so happy to hear that they were thinking about it, and it wasn't long after that we found out she was pregnant!

They moved out to Nortwest Indiana, and in their new home, this little handsome boy came into the world. My sister gets mad props from me, because she went all natural, labored practically in her sleep, and he seemed to just fly out with no help! She is amazing people.

It was actually the only birth of my nephews that I wasn't there for, which makes me very sad, but I was determined to be there for his little life. I'm so happy we live just a few houses down now, so I can see this little guy every day.

When you are having a bad day, you need some of him. He is the most zen, happy baby. Practically smiling from the day he got here, he has the most beautiful, happy energy.

This last few weeks he started walking, and its just the cutest thing to see him try to chase after and keep up with his two big brothers. I'm just so happy they decided to have another, because I can't imagine never getting to meet this angel baby and get to know him.

Love you so much little guy, Happy Birthday!

Love,
"Tootie"

Let's play catch....up

2008-05-19T09:28:00.002-05:00

So, it's been almost a month since I've blogged, I don't think I've ever been away that long!

It's been a crazy time. My husband is looking for a new job that doesn't make me a single parent (If you know of any, PLEASE e-mail me!) My baby has been going through a major developmental stage, and I am planning on launching my business.

Two Friday's ago my husbands grandfather passed away. We loved him so much, and he left a great legacy of hard work, and love of his wife and children that Wade and I greatly admire.
Hubby and I both agree that we will do whatever we can to make it to funerals and weddings in our family. We both think they are really important for keeping a family close.
The services were going to be in Nashville, TN a whole 8 hour drive south of us. We knew the only shot we had with the Diva that hates the car is to leave at night when she fell asleep and drive through the night. It was the most exhausting thing I have done beside child birth, no joke! I mastered nursing while driving, and when we arrived at his Aunts house we had stopped a total of 18 times arriving 11 hours later.
It was extremely hard, but worth it. We had a great week with the family, and I was so happy to get to know Wade's extended family more. There was a beautiful service and we were so happy that we were able to make it.
Our drive home? Not as hard, but a close second. It didn't help that I started out by driving an hour the wrong way!

Mother's day was celebrated with my family the day before (since we left Sunday), and it was great to be with my mom. It was also great to celebrate my first official mother's day, and "Capri" got me a gift certificate to the spa! (I think it was because she knew what she was about to put me through with the car ride!)

Well, aside from all the crazy.... Capri is five months old and hit many major developmental stages.

ALL in the last week and a half she can:

Sit up (She did it a whole bunch one day last week, and has been doing it only every once in awhile since)
Rolls over (from tummy to back). It's so cute to watch her lift her head up, and then her booty, and figure it out. She started doing this at the hotel in Nashville, and hasn't stopped since!
She started bouncing (jumping) in her bouncy play gym! This is a big deal to me because I put her in this thing every day, and finally yesterday she started jumping!
She will look at places you point too! On our trip we pointed to some ceiling fans, and she looked at them!
She reaches for everything! She will reach for toys, things I am holding, my hair, anything in front of her. She also started reaching for people. If I am holding her, she will reach for Wade, and the other way around, its so cute!
She developed a greater amount of control with grasping things! She can now take the pacifier (which she refuses to keep in her mouth), and she will hold it, put the paci in (the right way) and bite the nipple while pulling until it finally comes out. The only downside to her learning this? She has now started doing it while nursing....ouch.
She tried a little bit of banana and loved it!

There is more to come, as soon as I can find some time to blog about it all!

Intention

2008-04-24T20:42:00.004-05:00

I was bouncing up and down, up and down on the exercise ball to get Capri to sleep. I was bored, and frustrated in that moment. There were SO many things I would rather be doing right now. It's so easy for me to become bored and frustrated with all the daily things that MUST get done (like putting baby to sleep multiple times a day).
However, in this moment I decided to talk to God. I confessed my frustrations, surrendered and promised Him I would be quiet, quiet and listen. What did he want to teach me? I waited, I bounced, I listened. I started thinking about intention. Was it possible to live with clear intention in EVERY moment? Every step I took, every thing I did, even every THOUGHT I thought, was of my own choice, my own decision.
I've learned that the sub-conscious mind is very powerful, and most of us, don't actually decide to do about 95% of the stuff we do all day long. We are in this fog, daze, robot mode. We live our lives controlled by belief systems (negative and positive) and habits. If we have an intentional thought it is to "escape". This is why there is so much talk about being "present" in the moment.
I don't know about you guys, but being present is sometimes scary for me. The silence, and rawness that can come from a present moment is a little overwhelming. I find myself thinking about what I *should* be feeling, or thinking or praying. Can you relate to that? If you asked me if I was the kind of person that enjoyed being alone, I would have always answered "yes", but the older I get, the less that is true. Having a little baby I find myself longing for those moments, only to sit there wishing she would wake up so I didn't have to be alone. And don't confuse what I am saying... I am not talking about the depressive, I.want.to.run.away kind of feeling. I'm talking about those moments where life is so REAL so alive, and you are so actively engaged in that moment that the power of it can seem overwhelming.

I believe that this is where God lives. In the present state. He taught me, while I was bouncing on that ball to think about the things that move me closer to Him, and closer to the things that create a happy, healthy, successful, giving, growing me, and CHOOSE to do those things. He taught me to think about the thoughts HE wants me to think about and learn, and meditate on those things. I confessed, and realized that I was already actually meditating on things, they just weren't from him. They went something like this....I'm so tired, exhausted, what will I eat? When am I off work? When will this baby sleep? Ugh, will we ever have more money? I feel ugly today, no ones cares, I'm not worth it, I'm not good enough, what do I look like? I feel so bad today....
They are all the most brief of moments that I don't even catch how negative they are until I reflect on my day, and I see that my thoughts, ended up creating my actions, which ended up being NOTHING that I actually really wanted to do that day.
I learned, that my life could be SO much more powerful if I chose to engage in every moment. To listen to God speaking to me, to listen to what others had to say, and to meditate, read, and allow things into my mind that focused me on the things I really wanted. I want to be the one that decides what each moment of my day will look like. I want it to look like one that is completely surrendered.
So, I ask you guys. How much more powerful can your lives be if you lived in every moment? If you were the one that decided and were intentional about your actions? Instead of the negative belief systems that control us each moment.
Because sometimes, just bouncing on a ball, putting a baby to sleep can turn into a profound moment where God speaks to you a really BIG truth.

Some Great Questions

2008-04-22T10:38:00.001-05:00

CDC Chief Admits that Vaccines Trigger Autism

Please take a look, and ask yourself the same questions!

A New Season

2008-04-21T11:27:00.002-05:00

My mom wrote this beautiful "post" even though she doesn't have a blog, and e-mailed it to the family, and I thought it was so great that I wanted to share it with you all. It's kind of long, but worth the read!

Our Quiver was Full, but Now the Nest is Empty

Psalm 127: 3-5 "Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them."

Our Quiver was very full. We were blessed with four beautiful children, two boys and two girls. Last week we helped our 20 year old son, the youngest, move into his own apartment. We helped him sort all his belongings in three groups - throw away, give away, and keep. He's a keeper, so not much went into the first two piles. He borrowed a trailer from a friend, and hooked it up to his monster truck. Thankfully he had friends to help him load up, sparing his mom and dad from the heavy lifting. It would ultimately take two trips with a full trailer, truck and car to haul it all to his new place. He, and all his things, are gone. The nest is indeed.... empty.

After we arrived at his new place, I soon busied myself unpacking and setting up his kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. I didn't mind the the back-straining work too much, it was a welcome distraction from all the sadness I was feeling in my heart. As I progressed through all the boxes and bins, I found myself re-living so many memories in my mind. First, I thought about when we moved our first child out of the house, to a college dorm two hours away. I remembered experiencing the deep, heart-aching pain, and non-stop tears for an entire week. I grieved not for her leaving as much as for the end to that season of life we had with her.

What I ultimately learned though, was my life with her was not over, but that a new adult relationship with her was beginning. My sadness for losing what we had as a parent-child relationship was soon replaced with the joy and challenge of a new relationship with a wonderful adult woman whom we loved very much. That lesson served me well, so as each successive child left the nest, I soon was able to replace my sadness for their leaving with great anticipation of the new adult relationship that we would be developing. As each child left the nest, it did get easier for me to accept.

As I finished unpacking the last of my son's kitchen boxes, I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. I felt God speaking to me in a voice that was certain, "You and John have done a wonderful job, you gave your children everything you could, you loved them unconditionally, you taught them to know Me, their heavenly father, and accept my Son, Jesus, as their savior. Well done!" We were affirmed!

As I put away all my son's clothes, (which took a while, since he refuses to part with any of his favorite t-shirts!), I was able to recount in my mind, all the major events in his life, from birth up until now. I felt so blessed by those memories, since lately my memory is definitely not what it used to be. I've read that when we get older our problem is not lack of memory, but lack of recall! Everything that we have experienced in life is stored in each of our massively underused brains, if only we knew how to access it. Somehow, the simple act of unpacking gave me unlimited access to so much detail of my memories of his life so far. And when my thoughts reached our current point in time, the unpacking was done. How perfect!

For about a month now, friends and family have lamented to us, "With the last one leaving, your nest will be empty!", they seemed concerned as to how we were going to fare through it all. I wondered why an empty nest has to be such a negative time in our lives? It occurred to me that if we believe what God's word teaches us In Psalm 127 - that children are a blessing from God, and that a "full quiver" of them is also a blessing, then shouldn't their eventual leaving the nest, as independent adults, also be a blessing as well? Yes, we will miss seeing them and living under the same roof with them, but I hope we will also be thankful for those many blessings, and see the empty nest as part of His plan for us.

As a little girl I remember each spring, watching in wonder,as a couple of birds would build a tiny little nest up high in the eaves of the front porch of our family home. We watched them use small twigs, leaves, string, and anything else they could find in our yard. One time they even used a broken shoelace discarded from my brother's shoe!

Eventually, we would see one of the birds just sitting in the nest and not leaving. We knew it must be the mom sitting on her eggs, because she never left, and the other (daddy) bird would bring her worms to eat. We anxiously watched and waited (what seemed like an eternity!) for the baby birds to hatch. Finally, the day would come, and we would hear very loud chirping coming from our front porch, The babies had hatched!

Both mommy and daddy bird worked feverishly, day and night, taking turns leaving the nest and returning with food, and shoving it down their baby bird's throats with their beaks. The babies grew quickly, and soon, could barely all fit in the small nest, until one day, sadly, they were all gone. The little birds left the family nest! But guess what, so did the mom and dad!

The parents had stayed with the little ones until they all grew too big for the nest, and wanted to go out on their own, and so they left. Mom and dad, having completed their task, were now free to leave the nest too, free to set new goals and discover new adventures for them both. God's perfect plan.

I decided this week, I want to be like the birds. Our little birdies have grown too big for the nest, thanks to all our hard work and dedication to them, and when it was time, they left. I want to feel like the birds, free to see the world, free to pursue new goals, and discover what new missions God has in store for my husband and myself. I look forward to all the blessings we will have with our adult children and now their children, and so on. Hopefully they will remember the good things we did in our little nest, and pass those on. It will be our legacy.

Our quiver was full, the nest is empty, but now, these birds are ready to soar!

posted by Olive U.

Spring

2008-04-19T15:33:00.011-05:00

Spring is here, the sun has been making an appearance, and I have jumped back in flip-flops. Feeling better. I told a friend today that instead of my default being sadness (and it taking a lot to make me happy), I am default happy. It feels good to be back to normal. I guess I just needed a little bit of sunshine.

Joy

2008-04-15T23:38:00.003-05:00

My Sister sent me the link to an awesome post, and I really wanted to share it with you all.

It spoke to my heart, inspired and encouraged me, and I think it is a MUST read, so please go HERE, and take a look.

Here is a little clip:

And I wonder if our daily lives are characterized by as much joy and gratitude as we presume? Are those emotions something we believe in, give mental assent to…but rarely feel. I wonder if we don’t allow our well-being too often to be at the whim of mainly external factors. We rely, wait, on some outer emotional weather, our daily environment, to rain down some joy, shower us with happiness. Sadly, we let something of such paramount import as our daily joy to be unpredictable and fleeting, dependent on environmental happenings rather than a permanent, interior fixture of our being.

If we know gratitude bathes us in joy, why isn’t it a trait we nurture in our everydays, when there is no rain in the land? Why does joy seem more like an evasive mirage for most people, an oasis we rarely arrive at, put down roots and make our long term address?

Baby Yoga

2008-04-15T23:08:00.002-05:00

Every day, all day long, this is all she wants to do. She does the yoga pose trying to hold her feet. Most babies I've seen lean over trying to touch their toes, but my daughter was blessed with some flexibility, and she just pulls them right up to her! I had some better shots, but they were all a little inappropriate, a little "spread eagle" if you know what I mean! I think we need to get into some mommy and me yoga classes, stat! I have a talented little one!

and THIS face makes my heart melt...

Does this count as babywearing?

2008-04-07T20:31:00.001-05:00

For more best shot Monday's go HERE

The burden we bear

2008-04-05T12:17:00.008-05:00

A few weeks ago, life became a little more stressed. Wade was working 12 hour shifts (at night), 7 days a week. Capri was teething/sick and refusing to go to sleep at night. I was working, and trying to handle all the things at home that Wade usually handles, but now he didn't have time for. Capri and I never saw Wade, and I wasn't getting any help from him.

On top of all the stress, I found myself losing coping skills. My anxiety was really high, especially in those moments where Capri was upset, and I couldn't figure out how to calm her down by myself. I had two MAJOR emotional breakdowns in the same week, both with people I never fight with: my husband and my sister (also the two people I am closest to).

I knew that I wasn't myself. I didn't want to get out of bed, or do anything except be with my baby. When great things happened, I was "trying" to be happy. I've never really felt this way, and I've always seen myself as a positive person. The fact that I've always been a positive person, played into the difficulty of this time. It was really unfamiliar to me, and I didn't understand it, or know what to do. The only thing I really found joy in were the smiles of my baby, but her cries sent me over the edge.

Hopelessness, and despair... they can take a normal day, to a horrible day, even without anything happening. I started to feel like I was going a little crazy. Everything was exaggerated and intense. If Wade had even the slightest negative tone with me I would start crying. Crying became an every day thing. I was so painfully resistant to everything, that even the slightest thing like getting dressed, or going to get the mail, or changing a diaper, or making food for myself seemed overwhelming. I just kept saying "Life is SO hard right now." I WANTED to say "life sucks right now" but I knew that wasn't true when I looked at Capri's face and how blessed I was by her and my husband.

I was trying to figure out WHAT was going on, and why couldn't I handle anything anymore. Through the help of family I started to realize that this was probably a hormone related thing. My baby is three months old, and my body is still adjusting. It was such a relief to understand that there was something out of my control going on here. When I started to lose it at times I wanted to cry out "No one understands, I can't do this, I can't do this!"

I decided to step back a little, and I took a week off work. I don't know if I could be diagnosed with postpartum depression, I'm not a doctor, and I don't know if mine was as serious as a lot of women out there. I began doing some natural things that have really helped. I've already been eating healthy, but if I wasn't I would have done that first, but I also added some supplements:

I started taking MORE all natural progesterone cream to balance those hormones
Loaded up on fish oils and st. johns wort to give me a mental boost
I started taking some adrenal supplements and loaded up on those as well

ALL of this has been slowly making me feel better, along with taking a break and taking care of myself. Another HUGE help? Friends. I decided that while I was off of work I would sort of hide out, be alone and I thought that was what I needed. Well, my sister didn't agree and she gathered my "tribe" of ladies, and they all took care of me this week. They got organized and each of them picked a day, and they brought me dinner every night this week (and also hung out with me and cheered me up). It was SO good, and its amazing how much stress is eliminated just by not having to worry about dinner (especially since It's almost impossible to leave the house alone since Capri hates the car). I am so blessed to have people that would sacrifice, and I mean sacrifice time away from their schedules and families to be there for me. THANK you Ashlee, Jen (monkeybread), J-con, Jaymi, Steph and Robin for all the food, love and support. And of course my sister, Arianne who gathered up my tribe, put up with a whole lot, forgave me, and guided me through this with her mommy wisdom.

I'd love to tell you that I am all better, things are great and I am moving on with life, but that wouldn't be the truth. The truth is, I am still struggling, things are SO much better, and I am not on the edge of having a break down, but joy is still a struggle to find. I see it like this-
have you ever taken a walk at night, and stood in front of a light post? If you turn around and walk away from it, your shadow gets larger and larger until you are surrounded by darkness, and can't see anything, not any light. Well, this was where I was at, and I finally (with the help of others) turned around. I can see the light post, and all the light, and the more steps I take, the more light surrounds me. However, my shadow is still there, and the darkness isn't far behind me. I've gotta keep moving forward, and getting better.

My sister told me that hormones are the burden that every mother bears for some reason, and I'm just happy to have survived it, and be turning around.

Wordless Wednesday: Blue sweater for my blue eyes

2008-04-02T18:34:00.000-05:00

Mozart, how I love thee...

2008-03-30T23:51:00.003-05:00

So, I had a fun girl time with Jen last night, SO fun that we stayed up until 2:30 in the morning! So, when Capri woke up at 7, I was tired and desperate for more sleep.
Well, we have recently purchased a brand new DVD for her, called Baby Einstein... the Mozart one. She LOVES it, and will sit in front of it, and talk through the whole 30 minutes, its so cute. So, I decided at 7AM to put her in the bouncy seat, on the floor next to me, and I put the movie on. I thought it would buy me a couple of minutes.
Well, Wade got home from work, to me asleep in the bed, and her asleep in the bouncy, and the video running on repeat. He got home at 8:45! She fell asleep ALL BY HERSELF (never happened before), watching baby mozart, oh my goodness! All that gabbin' wears a girl out! When I fell asleep, she was talking away! Wade thought it was so cute, he snapped this photo for evidence:

and mama got some much needed rest....yay!

The rest of the story

2008-03-30T23:33:00.003-05:00

So... to finish telling you about our trip to Arizona....

After the girls came over the night we got back in town, Chelsea came back over and brought Capri and I some breakfast, and we had a fantastic time!

My MIL and SIL took Capri out to lunch while Chelsea and I went to TARGET! Wahoo, it was fantastic. I know it sounds lame, but that is a MAJOR thing for this new mom that has a baby attached to me 24/7!

After that I met back up with my MIL and SIL for my SIL Penny to try on Wedding dresses. It was such an awesome experience to be able to be there for her, and see her look when she found "the one". There is just nothing better then seeing a Bride in her dress for the first time!

That night we gathered up all our friends and were able to hang out for a bit at one of our favorite pizza joints, it was great seeing everyone!

The next morning, Capri's great grandparents came and picked us up! My grandma had made THE BEST french toast and bacon. Wade was in heaven, a meal he could actually share with us! We always have such a great time visiting them. For some reason, they think we are really funny, and we think we are really funny when we are around them, and so we all laugh really hard! My grandma's gave me a special gift made by her best friend, they were hand quilted bibs for Capri, so precious! The same woman made my doll clothes when I was a little girl, what a moment!

After that we met back up with Wade's family and took some adorable pictures at a portrait studio. I am going to post those really soon!

We had a great trip!

The New Me

2008-03-28T16:39:00.005-05:00

BEFORE:
AFTER
(I'm looking away, because I CANNOT take a picture without blinking!)

I've never had my hair this short...but I think I like it. The only downside? I wanted to be blonder, but the girl was afraid of bleachin....so, I got some cute high lights, and if I can't be blonde yet, this was the next best thing. It's a pretty color.

Our trip!

2008-03-25T18:29:00.011-05:00

Our trip to Arizona was a big challenge! It was our first time traveling with Capri, and she was still recovering from an ear infection! This made me a little scared about flying with her... I hoped we weren't doomed to flight full of tears.

She made the whole flight great! She was still super high-maintenance but all of our efforts worked, and the tears were contained! Wahoo!

Wade's family picked us up at the airport and they were SO excited to see her, it was adorable.
The rest of the day was a challenge as we drove 4 hours south of Phoenix to Wade's parents beach house. Some of you might know this.... but Capri hates the car. I can't even tell you how many people share stories of their babies LOVING the car, and it even being the only way they can get their babies to sleep. Well, not my child, she hates it with a fiery passion! But, we managed, and finally made it to Mexico after about 13 or so hours of traveling.

Well, Capri loved the beach! Who doesn't? She napped and smiled her way through the weekend. I guess all those negative ions brought her some much needed peace. Our first day out, she was in the water sling (thanks to Steph) and she fell asleep and I got to have a beautiful walk where I took some pictures.Her very first swimsuit!
Totally asleep!

Isn't it gorgeous? This photo isn't even enhanced, it was THAT blue!This is after the water went WAY back to show the rocks (we were in ROCKY POINT!)

Some footprints
Our little family...

And some sand touching....
(Sorry, I can't figure out how to turn the video, since I turn the camera a couple of times, so you gotta turn your little heads... its okay... you will be okay...)

Mom MIL is holding her, my SIL Penny, is talking to her and we are talking about some family stuff.... so just act like you know what we are talking about, or just put your computer on mute and watch the video without sound!

We had such a great trip, and when we returned our last few days were spent with the Aunts (my previous post)!

We had a great time, but it wasn't really a vacation for us. Getting ready, traveling with a baby, seeing so many people, transitioning back home... it was so exhausting. We are STILL recovering and we got home over a week ago!

It was a great trip, we miss our loved ones, but we are happy to be home!

Easter

2008-03-25T17:35:00.003-05:00

I hope you all had a great Easter! We were a little sad that we weren't able to spend it with family. Wade worked overtime, my sister and her family were sick, and the rest of my family is out of state! So what's a girl to do? Have a photo shoot with Easter clothes!

So, only a few turned out good because Capri would be smiling really big, but as soon as I pulled up the camera she just stared at it like it was the strangest thing ever!

XOXO

Capri meets the Aunts!

2008-03-19T20:45:00.004-05:00

Okay, so I can't find the cord thing that hooks up to my camera to update you all on our trip to Arizona. We had a great time, and I will post a video of Capri's first time at the beach (toes in the sand, watermelon bathing suit and all!) But until I find the cord thing, please go to my best friend Jordan's website and check out what she has to say about meeting Capri HERE.

You can also check out here album page for MORE pictures and even a video (which I had no idea she was recording, and hearing myself speak "baby talk" makes me want to cringe!)

But, she got some pretty adorable pictures! Oh, and Jordan is pretty new to the blog world so, leave her a comment and let her know you stopped by! (Remember how good it felt to get comments when you FIRST started? Heck, it still feels great right?)

XOXO

1st Anniversary!

2008-03-18T00:28:00.005-05:00

One year ago today, I married the man of my dreams. It was the very best day of my life.
We met at a high school football game, and started dating when I was 15 and he was 17. We dated for 6 years (2 1/2 of those years long distance), and went through everything together!
He proposed to me on Mendenhall Glacier on a trip to Alaska (diamonds look even better next to blue ice, let me tell ya!) and six months later, we were married!

It was a perfect day. We had a "destination" wedding in Long Beach, CA at the Ebell club. It was a vacation for almost all of our guests, and so many came early, stayed late and enjoyed a whole week of fun!

The day was perfect, I remember waking up with pure joy and peace probably the most I have ever felt of either of those emotions. My bridesmaids-all seven of them, consisting of my closest friends and sisters took care of me all day.

As I waited to walk down the aisle, it was a moment that seemed to last forever (in a good way), I paused and really took in that moment. I remember talking to my wedding planner (the best ever, and a girl I hope will soon be my sister in law) she affirmed me and gave me my last minute instructions. My oldest friend (since 2nd grade) was my maid of honor, and we talked about being young, playing barbies and dreaming of this moment. I had a LONG walk down the aisle, from the second floor balcony. I walked all the way around to "Somewhere over the rainbow". I walked down the stairs and met my dad at the bottom as the traditional wedding song played. That was the the moment I saw his face....
I saw him whisper "Oh my gosh" as he took his first glance of his bride. I was overwhelmed with emotion, yet more at peace then ever. The moment by dad lifted my veil, gave me a kiss on the cheek and gave me away was the only moment I began to cry. Here was the man that had lead me, protected me, provided for me, and guided me, and he was handing over all of those responsibilities to the man I love. His love had prepared me for this moment, and I loved him so much.

As Wade took my hand and we prayed, my knees shook. I had a hard time catching my breath. I was more in the moment then I have ever been in my whole life, and the unbelievable reality made my body shiver. Wade and I said traditional vows and then read ones that we had written for each other. Those words are so deeply etched into my heart.

My very talented brother played and sang a beautiful song he had written (how cool is that?!) and my friend Searcy read a beautiful modern take on the verse in 1 Corinthians.

As we were announced as "Mr. and Mrs." I knew one thing: God had performed a miracle. In that moment, we became man and wife, He united us under a great covenant. We were soul mates forever united with Him. It was beautiful.

As for the reception, I always said that I wanted it to be the BEST party I will ever throw. So, what was important? Food, Music and TONS of fun.

We had the most yummiest food, OH I still dream about it. If my dress had not of been so tight, I would have eaten SO much more.

We had the most AWESOME live band. They got everyone on the dance floor, and united everyone from my grandparents to my young nephews, and they kept the party going all night. We had a ridiculous amount of fun.

There is just nothing cooler then having EVERYONE you know and love all together in one room, it was so much fun.

EVERYONE stayed until the very end, when we did our last dance to "At Last" by Etta James, and everyone lined up with sparklers, and as the song ended we ran through the sparklers, and jumped into a very OBSCENELY decorated care. :)

I had expected the inevitable things to go wrong, the flowers being wrong, this vendor being late, this person causing drama, the service being bad... ect... but no... everything went perfectly, and it was amazing.

I somehow always doubted the greatness that people talked about on their wedding days. It seemed almost impossible to me, for this day to live up to the PERFECT expectation I had always dreamed. But, it did, and it was even greater then I could have ever expected.

I felt SO deeply loved by Wade, so connected to him, and as we partied with our loved ones, it was OUR party, and we were so deeply connected in every moment of it.

It's been such a wonderful year, and I can't wait to see what the Lord has planned for Wade and I.

Today was a great day.

I am so honored to be my Husbands Wife.

Marriage Wisdom Part 2

2008-03-03T21:44:00.003-06:00

Continuing on from where we left off...

Be careful with your tone of voice. This is a huge weakness for most women I think. It's really easy to deny any wrong doing because of the words you speak, but we ALL know the message we are trying to send when our tone is demeaning, not so friendly and prideful. Your body language and tone of voice say more then your words sometimes. Be careful to not be hurtful.
Always seek a solution instead of just fighting. It's easy to let the conversation get out of hand to the point that you end up fighting about what you said when you were fighting. Let go of your desire to be right, to prove your point, to let the person know how MUCH they really hurt you, and just seek to work towards solutions. Instead of focusing on what was done, move on, let go and figure out (together) how to make it NOT happen again.
Protect your marriage. It's an obvious thing to tell a married women to not have an affair, but most of us are closer to this then we think. Never think that you are above this, and put yourself in situations where you might be tempted. I would guard against riding alone in a car with a man that is not your husband or family. Don't share intimate, emotional details with any other man other then your husband. HE should be your best friend, your council and your greatest confidant, not another man.
Create romance with your hubby, whenever possible. Affection goes SO FAR in connecting with one another. Cuddles, kisses, glances, touches as you walk by is SO important. Try to have date nights as regularly as possible, and take time to do thoughtful, cute things for each other. The other night I wrote a little "love" note and hid it in my husbands uniform for him to find at work. It took him a few days before he realized it was there, but he called me from work to tell me it "made his night", and it only took me two minutes!
I would suggest reading the book "The 5 love languages" by Gary Chapman. Learn your hubbies "love language" so that you can be intentional about the way you love him. You can love him in the way he WANTS to be loved, instead of loving him the way YOU would want to be loved. When I read this book a few years ago, it absolutely changed my relationship with Wade. It is something powerful, trust me.
Your husband is the leader in your home, and you must let him. I believe it is one of the hardest thing for a man to do, is be a leader, and its one of the hardest things for a woman to NOT do. It's almost like as soon as there is a lack of leadership, we swoop in to control instead of give our husbands the time and space (and encouragement), to lead. Submit to your husbands leadership, and trust him. A great example of the way I view submission as a wife is this.....When Wade and I started to talk about moving from Arizona to Indiana, I was the one that brought it up. I was pregnant, and each week that my baby grew I became more and more desperate to be by my family (mom and/or sister), and I felt like God was leading us out of Arizona. I told him my heart, and my desire (and it was his responsibility to listen). As we continued to talk about the possibilities, we struggled with many things. I know that Wade struggled with many things, and it wasn't going to be an easy decision. I told him that I trusted that he would seek the Lord's guidance for us, and I trusted that he would consider my heart, and I trusted that HE would make the best decision for us. A few weeks later, after doing both those things, he decided that we would move to Indiana. Whatever his decision may have been, I would have trusted it, and respected it. HE has the huge responsibility of listening to my heart, following God, and doing what was best for our little family.

I hope to continue to learn, and fall more in love with my Hubby, and I pray the same for you and your marriages...present or future!

XOXO

Marriage Wisdom Part 1

2008-02-28T21:12:00.004-06:00

I was reading over HERE today and Mindy had such a great post on Marriage, that I decided to talk about it. You can find the post HERE, and I highly recommend it!

As my husband and I are coming up on our one year anniversary (3/17/08), I have begun to reflect on all the things that I have learned. My hubby and I dated for six years before we got married, and so I felt that I knew him pretty well, but this past year I have learned lessons so much deeper then I did in the past.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned is how careful I have to be with my words. My words should be used to encourage, edify and lift him up. I learned how easy it is break his spirit, even in jest. I learned the HUGE responsibility I have with my words when it comes to the way I talk to my husband.

Some things that I have learned through my relationship, through my marriage, and from other women (mainly my grandmother, mother and sister) are:

Always put your husband first. I heard this so much, and especially right before Capri was born. I thought to myself "Of course, of course, I get it". But NOW I understand why they took so much time to tell me-its hard. The urgent things in life tend to always come before the important things in life right? Well, with a baby, there is always something urgent to be done, and so its easy to let the important time with your husband slip away. It's all about managing those urgent things, and working around them. It takes a whole lot of intention and a little creativity, but its IMPORTANT. I've learned this lesson in a big way lately.
Never put down your husband to others, even "in good fun". When Wade and I are with friends, I am sure to never tease him, or put him down in any way. I never "correct" him, belittle him, or laugh at him. If others are out of jest, I don't join in. I choose to show respect to him and lift him up to others.
This also extends to talking poorly about him to my mom/sister/friend ect... when we get in a fight. I would warn against running to these women when you fight with your husband. You may be able to move on, get over it, and forgive but they don't get the benefit of the make up, and its harder for them to let go of the way he acted in that moment. They also will remember the things you say about him in that moment, and it is very dangerous. I've learned to take my problems to the Lord, and journal. IF there was ever a serious problem, I would turn to a pastor or counselor. Always lift your husband up to other people.
Be interested in HIS activities. My husband does plenty of things I really don't care about, but I choose to engage and care. Wade loves football, so I found a way to enjoy it with him, listen to him ramble about this game, that trade, this player, and it shows him so much love. I used to just sit and watch a game with him and read a magazine or book, and not engage, and this was sort of point less. He really wanted to share his excitement with his best friend-me. So take time to learn about what he enjoys, and take time to share it with him.
Spend quality time listening. Not just asking "how was your day?", but going beyond that to ask him about his struggles, fears and dreams. Connect with him on his passions and disappointments. This will make him feel valued, loved and important.
Encourage. It's really easy to think, "of course he knows how I feel, he knows that I appreciate him." However, your husband needs this affirmation daily, and the more affirmation he gets, the more confident he feels about himself. He will feel empowered, inspired and appreciated. What a HUGE gift we can give in such a small way. Notice the little things he does, and tell him that you notice, and you love him.
Believe in him. This is a choice. I've learned, that even if he has let me down in the past, I have to forgive and let those things go, and choose to trust and believe in my husband. If I don't, he will only live up to my expectation. If I EXPECT him to let me down, then he will. If I EXPECT him to succeed, then he will. My belief in him is monumental, and as his wife, and his lover, I have a huge responsibility to tell him that I know he can do it, and I believe in him. It's like the prince that can only slay the dragon if the princess believes he can.
Be intentional with intimacy. Plan time for love makin'! This is especially crucial when you have children (so I have learned). It doesn't really just "happen" any more. It takes planning, and its easy to let a bunch of time go by because of it. Plan out nights and times so that you both can be prepared spiritual, emotionally and physically. Make this an absolute priority, and think of it as VITAL to the health of your marriage.
My husband desires to give me everything, he really does. It is my responsibility to not burden him with all my "want". I sometimes don't even realize how much I affect him when I'm talking and saying "Oh I reaaaallly want an IPHONE" or some "bedroom furniture", or those "cute boots". I thought nothing of my continuing wish list until I saw what it was doing to him. He began stressed and burdened to get me all of these things, trying to figure out solutions to make more money, work harder, and when he couldn't he felt absolutely worthless as a provider. How horrible right? He provides all my NEEDS, like a home, food ect... and yet feels inadequate because he can't get me the IPHONE. I don't NEED the IPHONE, and I don't need to be making my husband feel inadequate as provider just to get one. I guess you would say he is easily to manipulate in this situation, and it gives me a whole lot of responsibility. I'm not saying that you should never ask for stuff, but just be careful, be extremely careful.
Never go to bed angry. Why does EVERYONE tell you this? Because it is SO important. The fight either gets SO much worse, or you tend to let things go when they really need to be resolved, just leaving it for another fight which will end up EVEN BIGGER. Even if you have to stay up all night to work it out... do it. It's worth it.
Communicate from a responsible vs. victim mentality. Instead of starting out by saying "YOU made me feel so horrible" "If YOU didn't do this then I would not have gotten mad". Take responsibility for your own emotions, no one can MAKE you feel anything, YOU CHOOSE your response. Instead let him know that it hurts you, or you feel betrayed, dishonored, ignored, hurt ect....when this happens. By choosing not to play the victim role you hubby will not feel the need to be defensive and you can both work towards a solution.

TO BE CONTINUED.....

Friendship

2008-02-27T17:55:00.004-06:00

*So, I think I am going to get Chelsea's haircut with Jordan's bangs, sound good? yah, I think so.

These two gorgeous women are my best friends. We met when we were 12 and have been close ever since. I am blessed to have the kind of friends that I believe only come along once in a lifetime if you are lucky. Some people find them more often, some people never find one, and well, I am blessed with these two. From the last 10 years we have only lived in the same city for about 4 maybe 5 of those years, and yet we are as close as sisters.
I believe the reason we have stayed so close is because of the foundation we built when we were young, and that foundation was deeply rooted in our faith, and the fact that we all became women of Christ together soon after we met. We learned together, and through our student ministry at church, we challenged and grew together. No matter what is going on in our lives, we share this. As different as the three of us are, we have all gone down similar paths! All of us got married this past year (our 21st year of life). Jordan (the hottie on the left) got married two weeks before me, and Chelsea (the hottie on the right) got married later in the year. It was SOME year of showers, parties, and tons of fun (we were all IN each others weddings of course) and I topped it off with a baby at the end of the year! I am ahead of the two of them in that department, but I am sure that they will be doing the same thing in a few years.

Jordan is the kind of friend that I KNOW will always listen, and always care. She is the friend I've always went to when I wanted to hear "It's gunna be okay, sweetie". She is more beautiful than she knows, and wise beyond her years. We used to talk all night about our dreams of growing up and getting married (while Chelsea slept ;)) It's awesome to be apart of those dreams come true now in each others lives. Her relationship is Christ is awesome, and I hope to know the Lord in the way that she does. She is disciplined, and intentional with the way she lives her life and she has taught me more then she knows. Interesting enough, we are always closer the further apart we are. During the months before we got married, we were room mates, and I actually felt so far away from her! I move to Northwest Indiana (from AZ), and we are closer then ever! So weird!

Chelsea has loved me more then any other friend in my life. She is the friend that always fights for me, and our friendship. She is deeply loving, affectionate, thoughtful, and forgiving. She is so much fun, and I could spend every second with her and never get sick of her. She is smarter, and more beautiful then she knows and I look up to her in so many ways. She takes care of me, and leads me in the right direction. I know I can get good advice from her, and I know more then anything that she is always there for me, and would do ANYTHING for me.

I look forward to many more years with them as we grow together as wives. I can't wait to watch them become mothers and grow with them as mothers. For right now, I told them that I want Capri to be the "token" baby among us for right now... they aren't allowed any for a little bit, thats the rule!

I haven't seen them in almost 5 months and soon they will meet Capri, and I just can't wait! I hope that one day she has friends as special as them!

Whats new

2008-02-27T16:20:00.005-06:00

My bloggy friend Beth, who is fabulous, smart, witty and adorable, whom I had the pleasure of meeting a few weekends ago- is going through a devastating loss. Please pray for them, that they will have supernatural strength to survive right now.

We have been adjusting a bit to Wade's new work. He is working the night shift from 12PM-8AM. It's not the worst schedule because we get to see him in the evenings, but it has been a transition for sure. He has also been required to work a bunch of overtime, with no time off. It's a blessing to us financially because the Lord knew we needed this money, but it is a major sacrifice on his part. I am so proud of him for working so hard, and so long and he comes home joyful, and excited to see Capri and I. His desire to provide and take care of his family is a beautiful thing to see. He is an amazing husband, and I just hope that we are able to adjust to this new schedule soon so we can find some time for the two of us! I miss him a bunch because he has been working so much and I have been SO sick this past week and a half that he hasn't been able to talk to me, or touch me.

The Lord is providing for us in a big way with this job right now, and we are so grateful but we are constantly looking ahead at our future, and wondering what God's plans are. We aren't satisfied with living paycheck to paycheck and barely getting by. We aren't satisfied with a mundane existence. The leap from the mundane to our dreams seems to be getting more and more difficult. We know we can't live this way forever, but it has been really difficult to make that next step, but I think we are getting there.

I've started back at my job and other then getting sick for a week, things are going great. Capri is finally adjusting I think to being at my sisters house. I think she is also finally starting to get over the Colic, praise the Lord.

Even though being sick is horrible, it gave me the opportunity to spend the whole week in bed, with her, falling more and more in love and getting tons of cuddles. How is it possible to love a child THIS much? I think about blogging about my love for her, but then I realize that I would never be satisfied with anything I communicated because I feel it simply can't be communicated, it just can't. I don't think anyone (other then my husband) can understand how much I love Capri, and why I love all the little things she does. She has my heart for sure, and brings me so much joy every day. Two days ago... she giggled for the first time! Oh my gosh, a giggle from her is just the most precious sound.

We are really looking forward to our trip to Arizona in a few weeks. We will be going down to our parents house in Mexico for a few days at the beach (jealous? huh? huh?). I look outside at all the snow and freezing temps and just day dream about being on that beach! We look forward to spending time with family and friends and introducing Capri to many of our loved ones for the first time!

Project Runway season finale is coming up, and I am so excited... will you be watching??

Oh, and as soon as I get a chance I will be adding a blog roll to my page so you can all check out some of the other bloggers I read, and have fallen in love with! So check back soon!

Have an awesome day!

XOXO

10 weeks

2008-02-19T23:18:00.003-06:00

I realized tonight after posting the last post that... um, people actually read my blog to catch up on Miss Capri, not to learn of my reflections!
So here is a video of her from tonight. I tried to capture some talking, but I think she was too distracted by the camera, she just smiled away.

It's been a long time...

2008-02-19T18:50:00.002-06:00

I got an email from my best friend Jordan today...this is what it said.....
"Ok, it's been over 2 weeks and you haven't updated your blog. Get on it!"

Here is an explanation to my absence all in one sentence ready? Go! Sick, working, busy, cleaning, really fussy baby, valentines day, and SICK AGAIN!

So, as death comes over me right now (I have severe aches all over, congestion, sore throat, migraine, ewe, and it all started last night when I got home)... I will write a post, even if it kills me dangit!

Through the last two weeks, I have dreamt about amazing cool things to blog about, and I really did come up with some good ones. But, for these fantastic things to happen I have to have some sort of energy, including emotional energy, and I just don't, so you will have to check back when I am feeling better!

Anyway... this is whats new.....I've been going through a really big reflective time lately. It was sparked by a seminar at church called Discover. It was a whole day and was all about finding your spiritual gifts, personality type, and passions. It revealed a bunch of things I didn't know, and confirmed a lot of things I had always thought about myself. Part of the process is asking three people in your life to fill out this test about you, and its purpose is to affirm your spiritual gifts.
After taking the test, I scored high in a bunch of them... I asked Jen if it was because I was really gifted, or just distracted! She didn't really give me an answer, but thats okay, I ended up just focusing on my three highest: faith, wisdom and encouragement.
The encouragement one was obvious to me, my husband really eats it all up (just kiddin'), but he needs it, and tells me I'm great at it.
The other two, faith and wisdom were awesome to be affirmed for me.
I confess that there are things that I often feel I have wisdom on, things that I am passionate about, and I never share them, or talk about them. I think it is because I take it so personal when someone doesn't understand, when they don't get it, it hurts me. It seems so obvious to me, and yet they don't receive it, and I doubt myself because I feel like, how is it that I can be so certain and yet, I am the only one that gets it? I resorted to the fact of keeping this wisdom and faith in, and not sharing it. I thought "fine, who cares, I'll just keep it to myself". I realized though, that God didn't gift me for ME, He gifted me to edify the body of Christ, and to bring Him glory. I hadn't been a good steward of the gifts He has given me, and it was time to be confident and start sharing. Confidence... that was the largest change that came from that day. I had a talk with God and vowed to not hide behind a desire of wanting to be liked, but that I would be bold and confident and speak the truth He has revealed to me.

I've been so thankful that I have a place where I can share this stuff with you guys....here on my blog. So... you can expect a more confident me... with some powerfully wise and faithful posts!

Oh, and you know what my second highest gift was? Hospitality! Whoa dude, didn't even know I had this! I guess I was never old enough to have a nice place where I could "entertain", but the more I thought about it... this was totally me, its not just about my home, but I love making people feel "at home" with me, wherever we are!

Well, that is all I can muster up for now, but I promise to be back soon!

Baby legs

2008-02-04T21:56:00.002-06:00

Capri said to me tonight (yes she talks to me...mmm...k) "Mommy, you have only lived in this cold weather a little bit, but I have lived in it my whole life.. so let me teach you a trick... slippers keep your feet warm and should be worn at all time" (She started screaming at the end of her statement :)) So... I found her little bunny slippers, and she fell in love.

(Aren't her legs so tiny and cute??)
This was the smile I got after those little footsies were all warm.....

Super Bowl

2008-02-03T21:52:00.001-06:00

This was such a great game, I actually really enjoyed it. What a beautiful victory for Eli Manning, brother to my favorite fello' Peyton. I am so happy for them.

Are the tabloids going to bash Brady because Gisele was in attendance like they did with Romo and Jessica?

Hmm....

The Big BANG Theory

2008-02-03T20:55:00.000-06:00

My mother in law gave me a lovely gift certificate to a very fancy salon and spa as a "push present" after Capri was born. It was originally meant to be for a massage, but I have debated about using it for a haircut with one of their "directors", who are the stylists that have a lot of experience, and charge the most.

I really want a fresh new look, something trendy and hot mama-ish. I have kept pretty basic with my hair for awhile, and I am ready for something really cute. I've been reading around about how bangs are really in right now. I have a long, narrow oval face, and I have read that this is the face shape that can handle the "big bang" or the "heavy bang". I have had the side swept bang for a long time, and only recently grew that out this past year or two.

Here are some pictures of a few different bangs:

These ones look like some I have sported in the past-

These are some other styles-
The Big bang, and since my hair is dark like hers, I am liking this photo.
Heidi rockin' the heavy bang-

One of my favorite shows, One Tree Hill has a character named Haley. She is sportin' a new do too, and I am so in love with it. My hair is thin and straight though, and I don't know if I could get it to look like this. I love not only the bangs, but the whole hair cut and would love this. Maybe it could work? What do you think?

I need help guys! I want to make the appointment and get this change! Please comment with your opinion on this, k?

XOXO

Excedrin...A.K.A.......Ridalin....A.K.A.....crack!

2008-02-03T12:25:00.000-06:00

Okay, so last night I had the worst Migraine. I never get these kind of things, and I was really hurting. I wasn't quite sure what to do, and I was just so out of it. My mom and my sister get these things all the time, and I quickly remembered there recipe for relief: Excedrin Migraine (extra strength), diet coke and chocolate. Well, I didn't have the diet coke or the chocolate but I had the Excedrin.
Caffeine usually doesn't have much affect on me. I'm not that sensitive to it. So I really didn't think much about takin' two of those little puppies right before bed. Well let me tell you, it totally worked right away and took away the pain, but all of the sudden as I lay in bed with Wade (who is already snoring) and baby (who is already snoring too) WIDE AWAKE. I layed there for awhile but eventually got up. The rest or the night (morning), I would do stuff and then go lay back down and try to sleep. It wasn't just the fact that I couldn't sleep, it was the fact that I had so much energy I could run a marathon. I haven't felt like this since before I was pregnant. I felt like one of those mom's that take their kids A.D.D. medicine (which is basically like cocaine), and they stay up at night getting a million and one things done.

This is how I spent my night (morning):
I cleaned my house, did laundry, organized the baby room, read a book (an entire one), bought hubby a v-day present and "window" shopped online. It was kinda cool because I figured out a way to help my husband get me just the perfect gift for Valentines Day, and our upcoming Anniversary, and anything else he wants to buy me something for. I set up a registry here and I created a "lifestyle" registry. I added a little button to my bookmark bar that says "add to my registry", and went shopping! Whenever I found something that I really like, I add it to my registry. Anything from high priced jewelry, to cute socks! That way, he can "shop" and buy me something that I truly want, but he can actually pick out something for me instead of giving me cash or a gift card (which is what he has done... oh, every occasion). One website I am loving right now is this one because my sister-in-law got me this adorable coat for Christmas, and now I am hooked. They have adorable shoes and accessories, and I spent a lot of time there last night.

Yeah, it was great getting so much done because I had energy, and everyone else was asleep. However, we missed church this morning. Almost EVERY SINGLE Saturday night something happens to sabotage church the next morning. Wade and I face so much adversity and spiritual warfare. I talked to Arianne last week about being committed NO MATTER WHAT to getting there that morning, because otherwise The lion will come and destroy our plans every time.
Ugh... I just hate this.

Well, around 7AM I was finally getting tired but I decided to try and stay awake until church. I thought I had a better chance of making it if I stayed awake. Well around 7:30 I finally crashed and couldn't fight it any more (yah, kinda pathetic, I only lasted 30 minutes, I guess that is what happens when you come off of DRUGS). I then decided to wake up at 9, and keep my alarm set.. and I would just be tired, but darnit, I would make it. Well.... that alarm went off, and I tried to get out of bed but I felt like I had been drugged. Oh gosh, it felt like someone was pushing my body down, and I was trying to push up. Wow, I haven't felt that tired or out of it since I gave birth! It was sort of like that, being drugged and so tired. So, unfortunately we didn't make it to church. Wade was going to go, but I was just too out of it to take care of Capri this morning, and so he needed to be there.

The stinky thing about missing, is that everyone ALWAYS says, "oh you missed the BEST service", "it was so amazing"..... I always miss those days...boo.

Well, at least my house is clean, and I was able to get up around 11 so I don't think I will have problems getting to sleep tonight. I just have to stay awake through the day now. Next week will be better, I will win this Saturday night victory... I'm determined.

Oh, and lesson learned: DO NOT take Excedrin right before bed....mmmmm k?

* Update...I am now considering taking Excedrin Migraine to keep me awake! Ahh!
* Update #2... Church WAS really awesomely amazing and fantastic...OH COURSE!

Congrats!

2008-02-02T12:16:00.000-06:00

Congrats to Michelle for winning the giveaway!
Thanks to everyone who entered to win, and played along... this was really fun!
If you were so sad to not win, and would really like some of your own Arbonne, contact me!

XOXO

Winter '08 Bloggy Giveaway

2008-01-28T19:20:00.000-06:00

I am so excited to be a part of my first give-away! I am joining the Bloggy Giveaway Carnival from Rocks In My Dryer and if you want to do your own little give away, you MUST check it out, and join in on the fun!

What many of you don't know is that before I got pregnant I worked with Arbonne International. It is an herbal botanical swiss skin care company and they offer a range or all natural products. I am passionate about the product, because I believe in living all natural! As I start to feel back to my "normal" self, I am investing more time in my business. So, this is also I guess a "re-launch" for me! I will post more about this later, but I have some pretty cool stuff to give away!

The first is this fantastic tinted moisturizer that has SPF 15. It is oil free and helps fight blemishes. This is so quick, and an awesome alternative to putting your full "face" on!

The second is a beautiful lip gloss in the "diva" color. This lip gloss is shaped so well that it goes on really smooth. It is very sheer and even tastes yummy!

Both these items equal a $28.00 value!

This giveaway is open to everyone! All you have to do is leave a comment on this post to enter. If you don't have a blog, just make sure to leave your e-mail address!
The giveaway will end on Saturday, February the 2nd at 12:00 PM. I will pick a winner at random and announce it that day!

Good luck everyone! Oh, and if you would like to buy some of your own, you can check out my website at http://carrington.myarbonne.com
Also, if you decide there is something you like, email me: carrington@johnschulenburg.com and I will make sure you get a super special discount of 35% off!

XOXO

CENTA

2008-01-27T21:29:00.000-06:00

*Wade's arm at a "Tiki party" this summer....his artistry done by Arianne.

With all the pregnant bloggers out there, I started thinking of a funny memory from my pregnancy. While Wade and I were driving out to Northwest Indiana from Arizona this past summer, we stopped at a Pizza Hut. I was really pregnant and getting a little crabby at times, and this Pizza Hut stop was no exception. Wade decided that my crabby needed a name. Well, I didn't like the sound of this, because to me it sounded like he was blaming the baby for my crabby nature. SO.. he said, well then I will blame the Placenta! While we were in Pizza Hut he kept shouting out "Plaaaacennnta" whenever I would "kindly" ask for him to shutup and pass the ranch. I was so embarrassed as WE got crazy looks from people at this tiny little Pizza Hut in a very small random town. I told him that it was not appropriate to yell "Placenta" at me, because people would get confused. Plus, it was gross, its just not a word you wanna yell. So, he compromised and said "Fine, I will call it Centa". I let him have his nickname and tried to ignore him the best I could.

Well, then when we arrived in Indiana, and he told my whole family. So ANYTHING I did, I mean anything I did, I heard someone in the background saying "Cennnnnntaaaa". What they all joke about now is that if I was actually having a "true" Centa moment, you could not even say it because then I would really just ....attack. So it was used only when I was being a little Centa like.

Hopefully all of you little preggo pops will enjoy this story!

Do you guys have any great pregnancy stories? Let me hear them! Mom-I wanna hear one from you too!

6 Weeks Old

2008-01-25T19:37:00.000-06:00

We had a great week! Wade found a new job (Praise the Lord!), and we had some special family bonding.

We took Capri to get some pictures taken at PicturePeople in the mall. It took us about three hours to get the good shots because we spent most of our time there rocking, bouncing, nursing, pooping, crying, sleeping ect... BUT we got some good ones! I love them so much! You can check them out on the website HERE.

Here are a few of them....

We went and saw the midwife today, and everything looks good with mommy and baby!

I thought I would share some updates with what Capri is doing now....

She is "talking" all the time. She is gooing, and gawing, and making the most adorable noises. She likes to talk the most to Daddy when he is making funny noises at her.
She smiles all the time, and most of her awake time is filled with smiles. She really responds to things we say, and looks like she wants to laugh! I have the best time with her in the morning when she wakes up. She is always so happy, alert and just loves to lay next to us and talk!
She has just started to "track" us. If we have locked eyes with her, she will follow our voice with her little eyes, its adorable!
She sleeps through the night by only waking up to nurse and falling back to sleep. I have gotten better at sleeping through her feedings, and so we are all getting good sleep! The only sleep problems come during the day when she is not sleeping next to me. However, she is getting used to the sling and that is helping me get lots of stuff done.

We weighed her this morning and she weighs 9 and a half pounds! She is still a little one, but growing quite nicely. The only weird thing is that she measured at her birth height... 21 and a half inches! Not sure how that happened because I KNOW she is longer. I guess its just the difference in people measuring her? I don't know. My midwife seemed just as confused as I was. So the update- she is 9 and a half pounds and REALLY long (I just don't know how long!)

We also took her to the chiropractor and got her adjusted and it did wonders in helping with her gas and fussy times!

Oh, and it WAS our 6 week check up... and you all know what that means.... wish me luck!

ROCK STAR

2008-01-25T17:50:00.000-06:00

This is a video from a friend from Arizona. I thought it was too funny not to share with all of you blogger friends. You just MUST watch it, and laugh as hard as I did... he really needs his own show, or his own little bit on SNL.
This is Grant on being a rockstar...
Click to watch the video here.

(Thanks for the video Jordan)

Brand Spankin' New!

2008-01-16T22:11:00.000-06:00

I AM SO EXCITED!!! Let me say it again... I am SO excited. I won a blog giveaway for a blog makeover with Jennisa. She was so easy to work with, and such a sweetheart. She got everything done fast, and worked really well with me (I had no idea what I wanted... "um girly things", I said?!) I thought I would be stuck with the blogger template forever, and she has saved me. If you are looking for a change with your blog, and want a makeover yourself, you need to check her out. You will be SHOCKED by her prices, and at the same time so excited because it is totally affordable. Thank you so much Jennisa, you rock my world!!

I haven't posted any pictures in awhile, I've been kind of lazy, so here are a BUNCH all at once!

Me and Capri

Wade and I TRYING to get a photo of us at the Museum of Science and Industry. This was our 5th try to get me with my eyes open! Even though we both look drugged, its the best we could do!

Going out in the frozen tundra!

Wade with a sleeping Capri in our new stroller (Thank you Nunie and Asa!) at the Planetarium in Chicago

This is Capri with what daddy calls "the snack shack" and a little bow sent from Aunt Chelsea!

Here are some silly pictures

She hates hats people.

This is her own little photo shoot with an outfit from Aunt Penny. She is wearing socks from Steph that look like little slippers that say "future heiress" on the bottom

This LOOKS like a smile but don't let it fool ya. This was when the photo shoot ended... when she had enough!

FUN?

2008-01-13T19:34:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was such an awesome day, but the whole day I kept thinking, am I having fun?

I was feeling a little better, and up to do something fun for my birthday. Arianne, my mom and I decided we were up for going out, and we thought about going to the mall and then my sister threw in the idea of going shopping in Chicago. I think she mentioned it as a joke, and my mom and I were like "Okay!", and she had to go along with it then!

With all the kiddies being sick, and having a newborn we weren't able to make it out of the house until the late afternoon. Capri had a hard time in the car, falling asleep, waking back up, and falling back asleep. I almost broke my arm shaking the car seat back and forth trying to calm her down.

I am so inexperienced when it comes to all the logistics of traveling with a baby, much less two (Baby Jonah came with as well)! For a new mom, its pretty overwhelming to have to stop, pull over and change diapers, nurse, change outfits, burp, get them into the sling, and get going. By the time we had arrived and left the car to go shopping I said jokingly to my ladies "Are you ready to go home yet?"

It was SO windy outside that it felt like we were climbing our way to H&M, and when I walked in the door it was crazy busy. So many people. It was kinda funny trying to get through the tiny aisles with a big coat on, a diaper bag on my back and all the babies and people walking all around you. Not to mention it was about 100 degrees inside. My mom had Capri, and Arianne was with Jonah and they made their way upstairs to the baby stuff while I attempted to shop fast down stairs.

This was my first time shopping since having Capri and I had NO idea what size I was. I had prepared myself for the size shock, but gimme a break people. REALLY? I've been having lots of conversations with God about surrendering what state my body is in post pregnancy, and I had come to the conclusion to praise God for my body, and thank His creation (my body) for creating a miracle... and blah blah blah. I had come to a great point, I really had. Then I went shopping. How can I go from a 0 or a 2, to an 8 or a 10. REALLY?? So, I went into the dressing room with a 6 in everything, went back and forth with new sizes and it just took forever. I thought, its okay, I am just so thankful I GET to shop, and I am here at one of my favorite stores, and I just had a baby a month ago, I AM OKAY. I had to wipe sweat off under my arms to try on clothes; it was just so hot it was gross. I found a few things and made my way up to my ladies. We found each other and it was this moment where I was so happy to find them and I wanted to fall into their arms and have them just calm my overstimulated mind down. However, as I looked up at them their faces had the same look as mine. They were sweaty, overstimulated, had crying babies and tons of clothes. We found a little bench in a corner of the store and all fell down, took off all our coats, bags, slings, babies and just stopped. It was really funny sitting there. Before I had Capri, I probably would have walked by and made fun of people like us. I felt like those moms that I would walk by at Disneyland that seemed so frazzled with kids everywhere, stuff everywhere and completely exhausted. We stayed there for awhile as we checked out one by one, nursed the babies one by one, and finally made our way out.

The plan was for my mom and sister to go back to the car, dump the bags, and I would go to Forever 21 and meet them back at the car to finish up our shopping at Macy's. Looking back at it, I laugh really hard at that moment when we left H&M. I had given all the bags and babies to the ladies and the wind was blowing SO HARD and they were trying to walk as fast as possible, it was just crazy.

Well, they went back to the car and I went around to find Forever 21. I had looked it up online before we left and knew it was RIGHT THERE. But, I walked all around for a few blocks in every direction and couldn't find it anywhere. It was freezing, the wind was blowing so hard, I was alone and I was thinking, AM I HAVING FUN? Is this how I wanted to spend my Birthday? It was a moment of deep reflection because I was so torn. Here I am in the coolest city in the world, surrounded by beautiful buildings and designer stores. I was with my mom (who leaves on Thursday and I don't know when I will see her again) my sister (one of my best friends) my daughter (I can't believe this angel is mine?!) and zen-baby-love-of-my-life (Jonah). I was healthy, and I had money to do one of my favorite things in life... shop! I was able to go to my favorite stores, and it was my Birthday. HOWEVER... here I am in Chicago with hurricane like FREEZING winds, crying and wining babies, my body temperature has drastically yo-yoed in the last few minutes (going from hotter then hell H&M to frozen tundra Chicago). And I thought, Am I having fun? The answer: yes. After I realized that I was just new to all of this, and a little overstimulated. The truth is that I was with people that mean the world to me. They were there to celebrate my birthday with me, and we were having fun. If it killed me I was going to create the best experience and enjoy everything, even the freezing wind! So, I DECIDED... this was fun.
You know what else helped? I made my way into Macy's and had them check how much was on an old gift card I had... $145 baby! That is like a FORTUNE to me right now, are you kidding me? I had her repeat it three times just to make sure. It was like God's way of blessing me for appreciating the valuable and awesome things in my life.

We ended the lovely night FINDING Forever 21 (which was inside the water tower for all of you people who know Chicago) and having a nice dinner at California Pizza Kitchen.

After resting all day and watching some football today (boo, my colts lost), tonight we had a very special moment at my Sisters houses. My nephews had made my favorite kind of cake (the kind with sprinkles inside it), and made birthday cards, and they sang happy birthday. It was a small, but sweet celebration. I got to blow out some candles and watch smiles on my nephews as they saw MY reaction when eating the cake they had made for me. It was a great birthday, and I had so much fun!

"Birth" Day

2008-01-12T09:54:00.000-06:00

So, today I turn 22. Just as I look back at this last year with crazy shock at all the things that have changed in my life, I did it again this morning. I still can't get over what a year I had, and I can't believe it all happened when I was 21! I would say the year could be summed up in "Firsts" starting with my birthday which was the first time I drank Alcohol. Well, I had tasted it before, but I mean... I really dove in head first on my birthday, and had a great time. I drank some that night, some at my bachelorette party, and some on my honeymoon... and then my margarita days were over, pregnancy got me, and no more drinking!

I didn't mean for this post to be about drinking, ha! Okay, moving on.... Actually this Birthday I am sitting here with so much more insight to what my mom went through on my Birthday, now that I have given birth. I told her shortly after Capri was born, "Why don't mom's give each other presents on their kids birthdays?" I mean, it is a celebration of the life of the child of course, but it should also be a celebration of the accomplishment, don't you think? Maybe you guys already do this and I am new to the mama world, but I think Mom's should receive major props on their kids birthdays.

So...here is to my mom. I celebrate you and all the hard work you went through to bring me into this world, and how you have loved me, supported me and taken care of me for 22 years.
Happy "Birth" Day mom, I love you!

(P.S. I apologize for the randomness of this post. :))

Tag-I'm it!

2008-01-09T21:51:00.000-06:00

Steph at Adventures in Babywearing tagged me to talk about 7 things that you don't know about me. So... here it goes....

1. I wanted to be a fashion designer growing up.. I even went to FIDM in Los Angeles. I loved school but decided that I didn't love the industry, and I cared more about having a family then working my butt off for a long time for no money. However, I still enjoy me some Project Runway (which is currently on right now)

2. I was 15 when I met Wade at a football game and immediately fell for him. However, I had made a promise with God to not date anyone for a whole year. I kept my crush a secret and became really good friends with him. When the year was up, I told him how I felt, and we have been together ever since!

3.When I was growing up my whole family called me "Tootie". It was a nickname I got when I was really young, and it stuck with me until I got a little older and loathed it. When my first nephew was born my sister decided to bring back the nickname so her kids didn't have the challenge of "Aunt Carrington" and could call me their "Tootie". My best friends calls me Tootie sometimes, and all my nephews do. I enjoy being their Tootie, and I love the nickname now.

4. I LOVE television. I know its not cool to admit it, but I really enjoy many shows. I know I should be outside walking, reading a book or calling a friend...but screw it, I love TV. And TIVO is the best invention.

5.I hate all kinds of seafood, even clam chowder. I very much dislike popcorn too. What's funny is my parents cannot remember this. They love to eat fish and offer to take me out to seafood restaurants all the time, and EVERYTIME we are in a movie, my dad will lean over and say "do you want some popcorn?" Each time I give him crap about it, and he still does not remember... just weird.

6. I am a Jesus lover. I can't claim to know Him all that well, but I am workin' on it. My identity as a Woman is defined by Him, and what He calls me.

7. I am a major girly girl. Pink was always my favorite color, I played with Barbies until 4th grade, and prefer wearing dresses and skirts over pants. I hope my daughter loves girly things too, but my Sister has another, more punk-awesome-rock-star agenda for her. I would actually love to see a blend of both!

8.My husband and I saved ourselves for marriage and our first time was (ahem) VERY productive. :)

9.When I was 16, after having my license for 1 month I was an extremely bad car accident. It was like out of a movie, and I can tell the story later. It involved many cars, was my fault and one of the scariest things I have ever been through. Someone that pulled over to help, ended up getting hurt (the only person who was severely injured) is now in an ongoing lawsuit with myself, the state of Arizona and another driver that was involved. The trial was supposed to be this month, and will be with the Supreme Court of AZ and will change law in AZ no matter what happens (unless it is settled out of court). My parents will forever mourn their beautiful Camero that was lost....oops.

Oh my gosh, I kept going after 7, and just NOW realized it. I guess I was thinking 10 things...well I will keep the 9 things and just give you a little more then you expected!
You're welcome!

Oh, and I tag Jordan to share 7 (9) things we don't know about you!

It's time

2008-01-09T00:38:00.000-06:00

My beautiful friend Tara has gone through a lot this year, many of the same things as me. She got married last year, pregnant, and had a baby who is now a few months old. They moved to a new state where she knows no one and she is do an amazing job at figuring it all out.

Tomorrow morning her husband is being deployed. She hasn't been able to talk about the date of when he is leaving until now, and she needs lots of love and support.

Please take the time and stop by her blog and thank her little family for their sacrifice for our country and send her lots of love. She is the strongest, most courageous woman I know. My mom is leaving this next week, and I am FREAKING about having a newborn with just my hubby and I, and I can't imagine doing it alone, with no friends or family near by.

So, send some love her way.

Thanks guys

XOXO

This calls for some participation people....

2008-01-05T20:00:00.000-06:00

My good friend Jordan sent me this personality test, and I end up taking ALL of these. I think I enjoy learning about other peoples analysis of me... whether it be a quiz from Cosmo, or a psych class in college, I enjoy them!

Well I took this one, and I came out as an ENFJ which stands for Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging. Which also translates into the "Teacher". My Hubby took the quiz too and he is an ISFJ which translated into an Intuitive, Sensing, Feeling and Judging which translates into the Guardian/ Protector. His reaction to the quiz was "You're really cool... and I'm not!" I don't think that was the purpose of the quiz, but I think he is just jealous that Peyton Manning and Oprah are in my category, and he gets the Queen of England and George Bush Senior.

You can look at more analysis of results here.
Take the quiz and post a comment letting me know what your result was so I can go read all about you! :)

Happy New Year!

2008-01-02T12:41:00.000-06:00

Two nights ago my husband and I were talking and he said, "If God would have told me all that we would have gone through this year, I would not have believed Him!" This year was a year of many challenges but also a year of amazing blessings.

Last year at this time I was planning a wedding, living in Arizona and just about to celebrate my 21st birthday! I was working at a restaurant looking for a "real job" and Wade was so excited about his new job and the opportunity that was there for him.

It was a crazy year because ALL of my closest friends got married. This year I was a Bride, a Bridesmaid, and a Matron of honor twice! When does that happen? Especially when all your friends are young like you? Well, one of my girlfriends was getting married 2 weeks before me so we had a whirlwind of showers one after the other!

On March 17 Wade and I got married in Long Beach, CA. It was the best day, I thought perfect weddings were fairy tales. Well, not any more, because we had one! It was amazing!

We honeymooned in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico for a week at an all inclusive resort. Our first vacation together, it was amazing and so much fun! (Little did we know ALL that we had accomplished that trip :))

When we got home we were hit with a lot of change! The day we got home we moved into our new apartment, Wade got laid off from his job and a few weeks later we found out we were pregnant!

Wowie! We had not planned on having children for at least 5 years, and struggled with the whole "our plans" vs. "God's plan" thing. This was the biggest lesson we learned this year. Even though we might think we have it all "planned out", God has other plans, better plans, perfect plans.

I soon started a new job and was thrown into severe nausea every day (Yes people, EVERY DAY... throwing up, for 6 months!) and started a new job. Wade found various work and we began to settle into our home. I soon became VERY blue about not being near family. Oh my gosh I am pregnant, what? Oh my gosh I don't live anywhere near my mom, or my sister, how am I going to survive pregnancy much less a baby without them?! We also knew that we needed a lower cost of living and God started leading us to move out to Indiana. It was CRAZY to everyone we knew. We were leaving Scottsdale for Chesterton? No one really understood, and we didn't really either! But we knew we wanted to be by family and NWI was the cheapest place we could do that!

So, we moved to Chesterton, lived with my sister and her family for awhile until we found the perfect little place... about 4 houses down from them! As hard as it all has been (my hubby is still trying to find a "real" job out here), it has all seemed to cultivate to one event, everything this year has led up to this one day... the day Capri was born.

I have to be honest, I cried when I found out I was pregnant. I screamed "I'm sorry" to my husband because I felt like I did something wrong, somehow I messed up and I threw both our dreams out the window. What I didn't realize is that God wanted to bless us with a joy that can't be described, an unconditional love never known and our own little family!
You know what also happened? We were united once again with family (who are also our closest friends), and we have made amazing new friends, got connected into an amazing church and have truly grown up (in an awesome way, not a depressing "my life is over" kind of way).

I feel like I got to experience two of the most amazing creations all in one year... marriage and a baby! I have LOVED being married to this man, and seeing how we go through everything together, and watching him do WHATEVER it takes to take care of me, provide for us and love me every day. Watching him become a father, and love our daughter is the greatest gift. I love that he loves her as much as I do!
Then came the baby... the perfect little angel. I miss her even when she has been asleep for an hour! She has only been here less then three weeks, and already I can't imagine my life without her. I THOUGHT this year would be filled with job advancement in Arizona, entertaining friends in our new home, and enjoying alone time with my new hubby.... man, my plans were SO lame compared to all God had in store for us!

So, looking to 2008, its really hard to even say what I think it will look like, because 2007 taught me that I HAVE NO IDEA! What are my goals? I plan on overcoming personal fears of failure to pursue my business with 100% commitment and create some financial peace for my family. I plan on getting to know Jesus so closely that 2008 is a year I look back on in the future for when my spiritual life changed. It will be like takin' me and Jesus to the next level, me and Jesus 2.0 baby. And I plan on being present in every moment of my families life, enjoying every moment of it so I can be the best wife and mother I can be.

I pray that you all get to know Jesus a little more this year, and experience the fullness of the love, joy and peace He has to offer you.

Happy New Year!

Our 1st Christmas

2007-12-26T17:30:00.001-06:00

Our 1st Christmas as a married couple, and our first Christmas as a family. I woke up Christmas morning overjoyed. I looked over at my daughter and my husband, and cried. I woke Wade up and thanked him for being just the best husband, and the best father. Together we cried, and thanked God for how He has blessed us. Things have been hard for us this year, but they have also been so great. We have so much wealth in the things that are eternal, the things that give TRUE joy. I was so thankful all day, and feeling really emotional ( hello hormones!), and I just took every moment in. We had our own special time as our little family Christmas morning, and then we headed over to my sisters house. My dad had made pancakes, the boys were playing with all he presents Santa brought them and we were all enjoying the time. The night before we had so much fun opening presents. Financial strain has hit my whole family right now, and so our presents were small. You would think this would make things a little depressing, but it didn't. We were all so grateful for what we had, and happy to have each other.

Even if this year had been a year of great financial wealth, I don't think anything would have compared to the gift of baby Jesus to the world, and the gift of baby Capri this year.

This is one Christmas our little new family will remember forever.

Reflections

2007-12-21T21:44:00.000-06:00

My computer charger has died, and so I haven't been able to post anything. I apologize for the lack of updates. It seems funny that I can post during labor and not afterwards. Well I am writing this from a borrowed computer (thanks mom!), and a new charger is on its way.

This week has been wonderful. I feel like my adjustment and transition to these things has gone well. I think I expected it to be much harder these first days then it has. However, I did have a twinge of fear as my mom (who is staying with us) went out shopping tonight and left me alone with Capri for the first time. Wade got home a few hours later, and I was totally fine, but I was a little panicked for a moment.

Capri is the just the most precious thing I've ever seen. It's really easy to know when she is hungry because she does this really funny thing that Wade calls "snarling" and if I can get a picture of it, I will totally post it! She turns her head one way or another and gives a "snarl" I guess looking for the boob, but its really cute.

She is always sleeping with her eyes open and giving big smiles (while asleep!). Last night I rolled over in bed (she sleeps with us, its the best thing ever) and it was really dark, but I could see her with her eyes open smiling at me and she was totally asleep, it made me laugh.

She loves her daddy's voice, and he is the only one that can calm her down sometimes. She is a great little nurser and I think its because she has a big mouth like her mommy. She hasn't quite figured out what to do with herself when she is awake and she seems to get anxious and upset, and so we have discovered a swing (thanks Arianne!) and that seems to keep her occupied and happy. I can't wait until I am feeling better and able to get stuff done around the house, because then I can put her in the sling, and I am sure she will love it!

She went on her first outing on Tuesday, all the way down the street to my sister's house for small group! She did great and it was really great to get out of the house. We will venture out again for church, and maybe tomorrow for some shopping.

I am also experiencing all of the hormonal changes, and some nights I am just a little sad and I can't figure out why. My in-laws sent Christmas presents to us, and in one of those hormonal moments, I decided that it would make me feel a lot better to open up some presents. To all the family in AZ reading this- Sorry! Sorry we didn't wait until Christmas. I was feeling bad about it later, but it really did make me happy in that moment! I thought "hey, I deserve this!", so we had a little Christmas morning. My favorite gift? A rockin' new coat from my sister in law and her family. I'm really excited to get out of the house to wear it!

Well, I hope to get some more pictures up soon, it might wait until I can get on my computer, but we will see.

Merry Christmas!

Love

2007-12-16T23:09:00.001-06:00

I just can't believe she's mine. Just falling more in love every day....

Birth Story

2007-12-14T18:22:00.000-06:00

What does it feel like to experience a miracle? Amazing.

I think that so many people are quick to talk about all the things that went wrong in their labor/deliveries, and not quick enough to talk about all the miracles and wonderful things that happened. I've only been a mother for a short time now, but let me tell you...its really cool.

I'll start from where I left off in my last post. I continued to have mild contractions throughout the day until around 10 PM. Wade and I had taken two long walks around the neighborhood to get things going, and oh boy, did they! My midwife soon arrived and I went straight for the labor tub. Laura (my midwife) recommended not checking my progress since my water had broken so soon, so that we wouldn't take the chance of infection.

For the next 6-7 hours my contractions progressed and things got really intense. I can actually say that I understand those women that say that their labor and birth was an enjoyable experience. It was definitely the hardest and most painful thing I've ever done. However, it was amazing. I was at home with Wade, my mom, my sister, my Doula and my midwife. The lights were dim, I had relaxation music on and candles lit. Every contraction I had Wade in the tub with me pushing my hips together (because of the back labor). I leaned over the side, my mom held my hands, my sister coached me, and my Doula helped me focus my energy and breathing. Let me tell you... I was in a zone! I've never experienced that level of surrender. It was a beautiful experience to see what my body could do, and what my mind could do.

My contractions had progressed to the point where we thought I was in transition about ready to push. My contractions were 2 minutes long and about a minute apart and REALLY intense. Laura decided to check my status and we figured out that Capri had turned face up and I was only dilated 2 centimeters! I was having the type of contractions that you have when you are ready to push the baby out, but I had barely even dilated! After that, I got out of the tub, Laura gave me a shot to help me sleep (everyone took a break). However, I couldn't get a break or sleep because of the intensity of the contractions. I labored all morning until around 10AM I started to talk with Laura about what my options were because I knew I didn't have anything left. With the support of Wade and all the ladies we decided it was best to go to the hospital. Laura said, "You either need to be resting or progressing", and since I wasn't doing either we decided to go in for the help that I couldn't get at home (AKA the drugs!).

At this point, I was really upset. I felt like I was going to be giving up everything I wanted, and I was going to have to defend everything I didn't want, and I was going to have to fight them on everything. I was SO afraid of the hospital and what that might mean for Capri and I. We ended up going to Porter county hospital, found an awesome Nurse-Midwife and had such a great experience. The hardest part of my labor was the time I left my home until I got the epidural. I had to be in the car, get to the hospital (and to labor/delivery) and fill out paperwork, sign wavers and get changed, all while having the worst pain of my life! I had no coping skills since all my labor had been all set up, focused and in water. The Midwife at the hospital told me that the epidural might not reach the back labor pain I was having (comforting right?) However, God is awesome, and the drug was awesome, and I finally got some relief. We had a little scare soon after I received the epidural because my blood pressure crashed, I threw up and felt like I was going to pass out (even though I was laying down). They gave me some blood pressure medicine and I was okay. I was praising God that Wade had stepped out of the room for some food when it all happened because he would of been so worried. It got a little scary for a moment there with nurses running around, and machine alarms going off, but it was soon over, and I was feeling much better.

I was able to sleep and get a ton of rest. I was able to enjoy some time with Wade and my girls and talk about how amazing the labor had been at home, and they all shared what an experience it was for them. We had some great moments as the petocin kept me progressing and the epidural kept me pain free. We had some Christmas carolers come by. I asked them to sing "a child is born today" even though I didn't even know if that was a song! They sang away in a manger as Steph and Arianne made fun of them (discreetly, of course). We played Capri's song called "Capri" by Colbie Colaitt and all of us sat in silence and just took in the "moment". Then we all laughed as Arianne came out of the bathroom AFTER the song had ended, and really sad that she had missed the "moment".

Things soon progressed and I started pushing. It was really hard at first because I really couldn't feel anything. I was trying to feel when a contraction was happening (so I could push with it), but I was also trying to actually push with muscles I couldn't feel! I got the hang of it, and it was so incredible. As I was pushing her out she started turning to "take the path of least resistance" and everyone could see her little head turning like a corkscrew as she was slowly pushed out.

The moment when a baby arrives is like no other. The emotion and energy in the room is high that everyone is crying and you really do feel like you are witnessing a miracle. I had the privilege of being at my nephews birth and it is so beautiful. Wade caught her and they pulled her up on my chest. She was so upset and beautiful, and we had such a sweet moment. We were three...we were a family...oh my gosh!

We left the hospital the next afternoon and welcomed her into her home! Wade and I have loved every minute with her so far, and can't wait to get to know her.

Thank you for all your love, support and prayers. They were felt all week long. Praise Jesus for the absolute miracle He created. I will do my best to keep taking pictures and posting them.

Well, Merry Christmas everyone! We got the best present ever this year!

XOXO

INTRODUCING...

2007-12-14T12:28:00.000-06:00

CAPRI PEARL BEAUCHAMP

Born December 13, 2007
12:16 AM
8 lbs 5oz
21.5 inches long

Reporting live from the battlefield!

2007-12-11T17:06:00.002-06:00

You know how their are those political bloggers that give live posts from "inside enemy lines" or at a live event. Well, this is my version of that, and its my own labor! I find it really funny to be doing this, and so that is why I am. I don't know how long this will continue, but at least you guys will get some updates.

After a nice relaxing morning, I went to see my midwife this afternoon. It was about an hour drive, and on the way over I started having really mild contractions. After I arrived, she hooked me up to a fetal monitor and took a bunch of time listening to Capri. The baby is doing really well and her heart rate and everything is great. She didn't check my cervix since my water broke (I am high risk for infection since my water broke), so she was trying to warn me to get some rest, eat some food because the baby might come tonight, or it might come in a few days. On the way home my contractions started to slow down a bit (they were irregular and anywhere from 3-7 minutes apart), and they slowed down to about 8 or 9 minutes and got a little more intense. We made it home safely, and I am doing some natural remedies to get labor moving, and I hope to see some action tonight.

Please pray for our little family, link my blog so others can pray, and ask friends and family too! I really appreciate it, and I love you all.

Oh, and if I can... you will see more updates!

Love you all

My Water Just Broke

2007-12-11T08:03:00.000-06:00

Ok, so you know last night when I said "maybe this is the calm before the storm?" Well, I guess so. I felt great last night but when I went to sleep I tossed and turned all night, and I couldn't sleep. I stayed in bed but didn't get much sleep. I woke up at 7 this morning and shortly after that, I was in my bathroom washing my hands and I felt some liquid. I thought "did I just pee and didn't know it?" Then I turn towards the potty and more comes out, and I have been leaking ever since! Now, I am so confused. I thought that your water broke when you were further along in labor, and I haven't had any contractions since I woke up and I actually feel better now (like last night) then I have in days!

So, I could go into labor today, or I could give birth in the next few days according to my midwife
Well, I am excited and looking forward to seeing my daughter! Today is my grandma's birthday, happy birthday Grandma!

I am off to go back to bed and try to get plenty of rest before stuff starts to happen.
Please pray for safe labor and delivery as well as safe weather so that all of those that are traveling (midwife, assistant, doula) can arrive safely.

Love you lots!

Home Sweet Home

2007-12-10T21:06:00.000-06:00

Friends and family have been asking me to post some pictures of our new place. My super husband did a great job of cleaning up last night and so I thought this was a good time to take those pictures.

I am so joyful tonight. It's the first night in about a week that I haven't
felt completely awful (notice my LACK of blogging?) I was feeling like this baby HAD to come any night with how awful I felt. Tonight might be the calm before the storm, but I am enjoying it. My sister told me today to enjoy these last whatever and be at peace with the fact that I don't have any responsibilities, no one grabbing for my boobs (well), and I can leave the house whenever I want. So, I am taking her advice and blogging, enjoying my new home, enjoying my lack of labor signs and taking it all in. It really is a TRULY odd time waiting to give birth. My life is about to change in the biggest way ever, bigger then getting married, bigger then moving, bigger then anything I've ever done. I'm just waiting for this change to happen. What other thing in life is like that? You KNOW there is going to be a big change, and yet you have no idea and no control over WHEN. Well, I am grateful and joyful tonight and I hope you all can find some joy in the little things too.

Oh, ya know what else was super cool tonight? My mom bought us stockings. Why are stockings so special? I don't know but when I got them I felt like "oh my gosh, we are a REAL family!" We are official now! It is really adorable to see them hanging there, and it just made me so happy to be where I am at (NWI, and our new home), so happy to be married to the best man ever, and so happy to be seeing my daughter any time now!?

I will post the rest of the house pictures on a slide show for you all to check out, enjoy!
Oh, and there are no pictures of Capri's room because there is a big birth tub and birth supplies everywhere, so I will post pictures of that room after she is born!

Happy Holidays!

1st of December

2007-12-01T23:38:00.000-06:00

Today was a beautiful, relaxing day.
It started snowing and I thought that it would be like it has been (snowing but not sticking), and so I admired the beauty of the snowfall but went on with what I was doing. THEN about 15 minutes later I look outside and there is a BLANKET of snow all over! I was shocked! I felt as if I had never seen snow in my life. I was so excited. I snapped these two photos-one of our porch, and one out the window of our street, not such great ones but you can get the idea! It continued to snow more all afternoon leaving a beautiful white coat. Wade and I learned we don't have a scraper and we weren't prepared at all to get our car our of the snow. We will keep learning! I'm sure this is not THAT big of a deal to all the NWI peeps, but all my peeps on the West side-this is cool, right? It was beautiful, and I was praising God for His beauty and wonder.
Oh, and I have a great Veggie Towel story! The girls and I went to a women's day at church and we

all bought these veggie towels some lady made. They were really cute, and we decided to take some photos with them. We laughed way too hard trying to be silly. In this one we tried to act "surprised" like someone just called our name and we were turning around to say "what?". Except Jen took "surprise" to mean "scared!"
Oh, and watch out for Arianne because she will cut you like butta! :)

It was great fun!
Here is a closeup of my eggplant Veggie towel! SO CUTE!

38 weeks and counting

2007-11-29T20:53:00.001-06:00

Here is a picture of me from tonight, I just wanted to share with all the distant family and friends the massiveness of my belly!

I have hit the point that all women that have children say "Oh, you poor thing, it will be over with soon." When I started to get that response I really wasn't "there" yet. However, let me just say... I get it, I really get it! I'm not sleeping, I can't breath and getting up to get a glass of water (ok, actually just ice :)) makes me completely winded and ready to pass out.

As I reflect back on my pregnancy I feel really blessed. Every midwife appointment I had I was reassured with great news of, "everything is perfect, she's doing great, and you are doing great." For a first time mom it is just the start of the fear that you have of whether or not you are doing everything right, whether or not you are a good mom. Other then the 6 months of nausea (which was so horrible, and I hope to forget that time so I am not afraid to have any more children), my pregnancy has been healthy and blessed.

I had the honor of being present at my sister's two oldest sons birth. One was in a hospital, and one was at home in a tub. After seeing the difference between the two, I knew that I wanted to give birth at home. THEN, I got pregnant on my honeymoon unexpectedly and was thrown into a massive amount of self-doubt. (Wait! Am I crazy? Do I really want to do this?) I went through a bunch of emotions but after meeting with a midwife Wade and I knew where God was leading us, and that was a homebirth.

Even after making the decision I had some doubts, and honestly had SO much to learn. Today, I am confident, and excited and I could not imagine my birth in any other place but my home, and in water!

The reality is that the standard for birth should be that all women give birth at home, and then the small amount of high-risk pregnancies, or the little ones that decide to come early-should be born in a hospital. The hospital is designed for people with medical conditions. Giving birth is the most natural thing for a woman. The miracle of it all is amazing as you learn what a woman's body was created to do.
The truth is, more women would be giving birth at home if our society didn't create such a fear mentality for women. It makes sense... women have a fear of being "bad mothers" and so people play into that fear with things like "I'm worried about this, so you need a c-section", "The baby is a little big, so just to be safe I would feel much better if we induced labor." The reason why so many women think that they NEED to be in a hospital is because of all the people that tell them "just in case". However, when you actually do your research you discover that there are very few emergencies that you would have to go to the hospital, and all can be detected at prenatal visits BEFORE your due date.

If there is anything wrong, then of course you go to the hospital. The problem is, that if you start there it is like they find ways to intervene. You are breach you need a c-section. Your labor is not progressing fast enough, you need to be induced and then you will need a c-section. All of these things they consider "emergencies" are not emergencies at all! Every woman is different, every labor and birth is different.

My husband and I are excited to be able to make our own informed decisions during labor. I am excited to welcome our baby girl into the most peaceful environment without people grabbing at her, taking her away from me, or rubbing painful things in her eyes! We can recover as a family together in our own bed and not have to deal with doctors telling me "what worries them" just for their own convenience (long labor? What? I want to go home! You want me to catch the baby while you squat? But then where will I sit?).

I encourage everyone out there to take a look, do some research so that the next time you, or someone you know gets pregnant, you are informed.

One of the best resources out there right now, that is turning into a movement is a movie called The Business of Being Born. It is a movie produced by Ricki Lake. She had a bad experience at a hospital and was interested in doing a documentary on the state of birth in the U.S. She discovered some crazy statistics (Did you know that the U.S. spends twice as much on births then anyone else in the world, but yet we have the second highest mortality rate in the developed world?)
Go to the website: www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com You can find information on release dates, viewings in your area and watch the trailor here
You can also check out this other bloggers review with a more in depth description here

Thanks for listening to my rants, and I hope that it will challenge the ideas you have about birth. I can't wait to see this beautiful baby, and I can't wait to post and tell you about my "birth story".

Lots of love to you all.

Just about anything

2007-11-28T19:01:00.000-06:00

This is one of those posts where I really wanted to write, I really want to reflect, I just can't think of anything to write about. So I thought, maybe as a creative writing exercise I would just start writing and see what came out. Here it goes:

-I miss my husband right now, I am feeling a bit lonely, but yet too tired to be social, I just want him. (He's at work)

-Giving birth is the ONLY thing I think about right now, it consumes most of my thoughts throughout the day. I'm excited, anxious, ready and I just can't wait!

-This Christmas is going to be really hard for Wade and I because we love to give gifts, and we just have no money this year. Are closest family and friends will be getting the same thing.. can't say what it is, but its not much. I am really looking forward to the year when we can really shower people with beautiful things, that will be so much fun!

Alright, I am not really getting very far with this exercise but I can tell you about some posts I look forward to doing soon:

-Pictures of our new place for all the friends and family that can't see it! We are certainly settling in, and loving it.

- A talk about homebirth, I would love to share with everyone how I came to my decision and the reasons why I think its the the best way to give my daughter the best start at life!

- A talk about Arbonne, and my plans for my business. I want to share with you my passion, what gets me excited and what I believe is my purpose.

Okay, well hopefully future posts will have something more to chew on!

Bye for now!

Our First Tree

2007-11-26T21:32:00.000-06:00

Our first Christmas tree as a married couple, its a little bare but we have years to add ornaments, right? I'm so excited!

PEARL

2007-11-26T20:57:00.000-06:00

My mom and my sister threw me the best shower ever! I am feeling so grateful to have already met so many wonderful people in such a short time of living here. Friends are so hard to come by and to have so many people that I've only recently met love on me and my baby was incredible.

Capri's middle name is PEARL and so they themed the party with everything pearly white. We even had marshmellows and white chocolate covered pretzels! The food was awesome, we had some yummy scones, dip, fresh fruit and the best cupcakes on the block!

Here is a picture of my pretty "tablescape" (thanks for the word Sis!)

This photo is me opening a special gift from my mom. She gave me a blanket that was made by my great grandma Pearl (Capri's name came from her), and she made it originally for my big sister. I sat and wondered last night if she even knew that the blanket she was making would one day be for her great-great grand-daughter.

There was a really funny moment where Stacy and Steph tried to take a picture of my mom and me. What they didn't know is that I am a blinker, and my mom is the worst blinker of all. I think 15 pictures later of BOTH of them trying we might have gotten ONE. We are so hopeless, we tried every trick... looking past the camera, closing our eyes until they said "3!", looking surprised, not thinking about it, not counting to "catch us off guard", but none of it worked! Here is one that shows me laughing as my mom tries my trick of looking very intense right when they say 3!

Here is one of all the ladies:
From Left to Right:
Brandi, Stacy
Jen, and baby Jonah, Aunt Sherry, Gabrielle
Devena, My mom (Debbie), Danielle and me
Steph, my sis, Janelle and Ashlee

I just want everyone to know how special this time was, and how thankful I am! I felt so loved and I am so happy that I get to learn and grow from all these wonderful women. Capri is so blessed to come into such a warm environment!

Love you all!

Beautiful Days

2007-11-26T20:51:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving was really special this year. I have so many things to be thankful for this year. It was my first Thanksgiving with my husband (since we have been married), we have our own place, a healthy baby on the way and family so close.

We have extended family that lives out this way that we have never shared a holiday with since we used to live out on the west coast. It was so great to be together with them, and enjoy the holiday with family we never usually see.

We had great food, and to top it off... snow!

The White Man, The Green Man

2007-11-21T08:44:00.000-06:00

Last night, Wade and I got home from small group, my mom came over and cut my hair (yes, my parents are in town, its awesome!) and after she left Wade and I found ourselves having one of those awesome nights where we get to really talk and connect.

More then the "How was your day?", or the "I love you." as we walk by, but we actually got to really talk.

It started out as a conversation about his mood that day. I had noticed that he wasn't quite himself. After asking him all day about how he was feeling he finally gave me a satisfying answer which was "reflective". I could relate to this answer. It's like the part of your brain that tells you what to feel was on pause and you were trying to figure it out on your own. It wasn't a state of sadness or great joy, just a pause while you figured it out.

What the conversation evolved into was so profound, so soul revealing. He talked about his struggle between the life he has, the man that he is operating from, and the life he knows he is meant to live, and the man he knows God created him to be.

I challenged him on the thought and this is how it played out (you can tell by my example that I play with kids all day :)). I said, it's like all your life you have been programmed to believe that you are this green guy. You have never seen a mirror and you never knew that your skin was actually white. All your life you operated like a green person would. You believed that you were inadequate, a failure and and not good at anything. You believed you had no skills, and although you didn't like this life, you really didn't have any way of changing it. It was what it was, you were green.

Then one day someone said, "Hey buddy, let me help you out and show you something". They gave you a mirror and showed you, that in fact you were not green, you were actually white. This white man was confident, successful, loving, incredibly skilled and talented. We talked about how this person that revealed yourself to you was God. When you saw that you were white it shook your core so hard. "How could this be?" You had lived your whole life believing a lie, a false reality. And maybe even the tougher question was "What do I do now?"

It seems easy to think that you would just change and start acting like a white man would act and not like a green man. But you soon discover how incredibly hard this is. Maybe being green sucks, and its not who you are, but its all you know. Its comfortable, easy and makes sense to you. You know to be green, you have mastered it. Even though you aren't green, it feels like "you".

The thought of starting all over from the beginning is overwhelming. It is so strange to think that it would be so hard, and so scary to be who you really were. When you tried to be white, you were a beginner at it, it didn't feel right and you often missed the mark or failed. However when you accomplished what you were trying to do, being the real you, and not the green you, you felt more alive then ever before.

Some days you almost wish that the friend that revealed yourself to you never had. Sometimes you wish you could go back to not knowing the truth. Even though you weren't happy, at least life was easy. Now you can't go back, you can't pretend you don't know. You know.

The challenge now is, what do you do each day to learn how to be you? To let go of the false reality that isn't you? To operate from the man or woman you really are.

The truth is that you do it through Jesus. You continue to seek Him, and the more you do, the more He teaches you about yourself. His Word becomes your mirror, and He begins to speak to you and teach you about this person you never knew: yourself. When you are seeking Him, His voice becomes louder than all the other voices telling you that you are still the green man. His voice becomes so loud that each day you know him more, you know yourself more and it becomes harder and harder to imagine living any other way but the way you were created to live and be.

Soon this life you were living that you didn't feel was your own disappears. Your dreams, your desires, your passions start connecting to your reality. You start creating a life, THE life you were meant to live.

You are forever grateful to your Friend that saved you.

The truth is, that I was challenging my husband but I knew I was also challenging myself. It's actually something everyone can relate to. I believe everyone struggles with living like the green man, and discovering who they truly are in Christ.

How are you going to live today? Go look in the mirror.

2007-11-18T19:49:00.000-06:00

Okay, I came across this picture today for this new ad campaign and it totally cracked me up. Ever since I got pregnant Wade (A.K.A. my husband and dad to be) has joked with me that I just have a "beer belly" and I'm not really pregnant.

I'm not really sure what message they are trying to display here, but I thought the picture fit so well with our little running joke.

I also like to think I look like her.

You know the baby is coming soon when...

2007-11-18T19:40:00.000-06:00

You sneeze a little sneeze and realize you no longer have control of your bladder.

How nice.

What to expect

2007-11-17T18:30:00.000-06:00

Well I have read recently (or maybe someone just told me) that in the next 5 years EVERYONE will have a blog, and if you don't, you will be some kind of weirdo like the people that STILL don't have a cell phone or know what the internet is.

In my world, I already was the wierdo. I come from a family of bloggers, and not just a little blog that they kinda do every once in awhile but ones they are completely passionate about. Like my brother John has a political blog www.infidelsarecool.com, and then my sister who has a personal blog www.tothinkistocreate.com. My other brother has an amazing spiritual blog where he shelves out deep wisdom at http://theprayerstop.wordpress.com. Then there are all the nice friends that I am meeting out in NWI. They all have blogs! So, after getting one not-so-subtle hint after another about starting my own blog I have finally given in.

Why was I so reluctant to start one? Well, I was totally feeling inadequate. My sister has this amazing wit, charm and coolness. My brother has passion, purpose, education like he is a man on a mission, my other brother has passion, purpose and wisdom and what do I have? I don't know! I realized that I will figure that out as we go.

So what should you expect? Just something personal. I will probably end up talking about what God is doing in my life, and take some time out to share how I feel on things like natural living, leadership, purpose and love.

At least I will fit in, right? :)

Well, wish me luck because I have finally started a blog! (yah baby!)